Back in February (this year), my family and I went to London.

The purpose of the visit was so that we could see our gorgeous nieces (and their equally wonderful parents!)

We stayed in a flat belonging to a lovely family. We looked after their home, whilst they traveled overseas.

This family is a family of bookworms!

To my delight; their flat was full of stunning books.

In the living area, I found the most beautiful library – ranging from old English classics, to current fiction bestsellers. There was a choice of Christian literature, as well as quite a few stories based on historical events (a genre that I used to love.)

What I did not know then, was this: That selection of sturdy bookshelves was to be the beginning of a little journey for me. 

God can use anything to talk to us.

Here is what happened: I could not resist trying to read some of these books.

I peered into a dystopian novel, ruffled through the pages of a nonfiction memoir… and then I began to read a Christian book. 

Three books in, I began to realise something: I was finding it hard to focus on a single book. I was reading a paragraph and then having this urge to check my phone…

Even when it came to reading books that I was genuinely interested in; I was struggling to simply concentrate.

I decided that maybe I hadn’t found the right book. Maybe there was too much choice and I was struggling with FOMO (fear of missing out.) 

Maybe I was simply getting overwhelmed by choice…

So, I emailed the owner of the amazing lounge-library. I told her that I wanted to get back into reading, but could not find the right book. Did she have any suggestions?

Her reply contained a challenge… Maybe my struggle wasn’t related to what I was reading. Maybe my struggle was all about how I was reading?

She reminded me that reading was a skill. It isn’t possible to become a good reader without forming a habit of reading. 

My bookworm friend suggested reading when I wasn’t tired. 

She even drew my attention to the fact that my scrolling phone would give me a dopamine hit that reading a book simply would not offer. 

Would I be able to swap the scrolling for the skill of reading?

Through that home-library, I realised that God was – and is – onto me!

You see, God wants me to let go of some of my not-so-great habits. He is showing me that I can pick up better ones.

Here’s what I mean…

Letting go:

• I can let go of my habit of eating sugary snacks when I am overwhelmed, or tired. As Pastor Craig Groshel says: “Christ in me is stronger than the desires in me*.”

• I can let go of my habit of ruminating, or overthinking, past mistakes I have made. I can be free from shame and guilt attached to these mistakes and I can rejoice in the truth that God turns our weaknesses for His glory.

• I can let go of my habit of scrolling mindlessly on Instagram. I can say goodbye to comparing my life to that of others on social media platforms. 

Picking up:

• I can enjoy healthy eating and exercise again. I can take up a small bit of exercise every week. I can choose to do what brings me life and energy.

• I can have hope for the future. I can pick up a habit of meditating on the bible and listening to what God is saying to me about my future, as I let go of my past.

• I can re-learn the slow art of reading. I can once more enjoy being inspired by pages of words that challenge and motivate me. I can allow myself to dream and imagine and wait to discover an ending (without Googling for spoilers!)

I can let go of things that cause me burnout and grab hold of things that make me feel like me!

Before my kids went to bed yesterday evening, we read a story to them. The story was called ‘Jesus and the Very Big Surprise’ (by Randall Goodgame, Catalina Echeveryi).

It is based on a parable that Jesus told. He says:

Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like servants waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him.

It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. Truly I tell you, he will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them. 

Luke 12: 35 – 37, NIV.

When Jesus comes back, He wants me to be waiting for Him. 

• He doesn’t want me to be stuck on the road to burn out or become disillusioned.

• He doesn’t want me to be so busy with things He’s not telling me to do.

• He doesn’t want me to be distracted by Instagram and comparison.

Jesus wants me to be where I love to be: Waiting on Him. In His presence. Close to Him. Expectant for His return. Dare I say, excited for Him to come back.

He’s not so much about frantic, frazzled and frenzied.

He’s saying: “Serve where I have asked you to. (Not above and beyond that!)

Keep coming to me so you don’t become dissatisfied and lose focus. 

And wait for my return, because I will come back like I promised.”

Better still, when He comes back, Jesus plans to wait on us. 

Did you see this part of the parable:

“…He will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them.”

Luke 12: 37, NIV.

• While Jesus is heaven-bound, we are to wait on Him. Be filled by Him. Do what He says so we have abundant life.

• When Jesus comes back to earth, we are to be waited on by Him. Because He absolutely loves us and wants to care for us, in his presence.

I love how simple this plan is:

1. Serve where He asks. 
2. Stay connected to Jesus. 
3. Expect Him to come back in all His glory and care for you, wiping your every tear.

As I read this parable, I further realise: I have to let go of things that are not serving me.

I have to say goodbye to instant gratification and irritability and learn to wait well.

Learning to get to the end of a book without checking my phone might not seem like a breakthrough, but it really is in the eyes of God who knows me personally. He knows what will fill my soul and help me to fulfil the purpose He has for me. 

He also knows what will keep me stuck. He’s not a bore who doesn’t like social media, He is a good dad who knows when his kids’ scrolling habits are doing more damage to their mental health, than good.

He knows what habits are good for you, and what habits not so good for you, personally.

• He’s looking at us and checking whether we are waiting well.

• He’s looking at our hearts and He can see where they have become distracted and distressed.

• He watches us in our broken habits and He longs for us to simply believe that He can give us better.

I think my starting point is this: Who do I want to be when Jesus comes back? Like, if He came back in five years, what kind of woman will He find? 

Will He find a burnt out woman, stuck in habits that dull her spark?

• Or will He find a woman free and focused on the things God has given her? 

• Will He find a woman that makes time for God, makes time for slow relationships? 

• Will He find someone expecting Jesus, in all of His goodness?

I would love to know where this finds you and what habits you’ve managed to develop, in order to keep you focused on your God-given calling?

*Power to Change – Craig Groshel