I have had a hard time accepting my body.

This is not something that has just happened since having kids; I have felt a bit awkward in my frame for as long as I can remember. And I don’t think I am alone in this.

I remember sneezing at school when 6 or 7 years old and snot flew from my wider-than-some nostrils… A boy across the table from me commented how gross it was and – boom –one of my first memories of body shame came to be.

Like a lot of us, I’ve had many moments of body shame since: Wild eyebrows, stubborn underarm hair, long nose hair… Not being thin enough, toned enough or pretty enough.

From wobbly thighs with teenage stretchmarks, to a now wobbly mummy-tummy with a C-section “pouch,” I’ve always found something to dislike about my body.

Yes, I have had more moments of body shame than I have dared to count. And I have warred with my body, as a result. I’ve said horrible things about it, pulled it apart with my words. I yo-yo dieted my way through my 20’s and subjected myself to a huge deal of comparison.

In the past year, however, I noticed that I have held a different feeling towards my 5 foot 7 frame… indifference.

I just didn’t really care about it, at all. I tried not to think about it, tried to avoid pictures and could not seem to find any motivation for another round of slimming clubs. I felt embarrassed when my second baby was 9 months and I was still carrying a lot of baby weight. (9 months in, 9 months out, they say…_

But, a couple of months ago, I found Jess Connolly’s book “Breaking Free from Body Shame.”

I finished reading this book last week and I can honestly say something has started to change in me. This book stirred me to a new way of living.

It reminded me that because I love Jesus I get to live free from the way that the world wants to define me.

Below are my three biggest takeaways from the book– things I have been thinking about a lot, lately. I hope they bring some encouragement and challenge to you, as they did to me.

1. Find out and agree with what God says about your body.

My biggest realisation with regards to my body: I didn’t realise how sneaky body shame was.

I have lived 30 years just accepting what culture says about my body. I didn’t stop to properly wonder what Jesus had to say about my body.

If I am totally honest: I just assumed God would want me to lose weight.

In the past, I have heard testimonies about people eating healthy and honouring their bodies through whole foods and organic produce. I somehow reached the conclusion that God wanted me to lose weight, eat clean and exercise more. Every time I was not doing that I felt like I wasn’t treating my body as God wanted me to.

Yet, through reading Jess’ book, I have realised that Jesus calls my body “good”. He says it is fearfully and wonderfully made. (Genesis 1:31, Psalm 139: 14.)

I had read those verses before but when pondering on them, something changed in me.

This one thought has blown my mind: God calls my body good, today.

Like, right now.

This size, this shape, with its current struggles, it is good.

Why? Because it is my way of connecting with God and with people. It is the vessel I’m in to experience joy and peace and beauty. It breathes and moves and thinks and grows.

It is quite amazing, really.

There are so many amazing thoughts about this idea in Jess’ book. But for now, if you are struggling, you could simply ask God this question:

God, how is my body good?

2. Living free from body shame will take practical change.

“Breaking Free from Body Shame” is a book that set light to something deep down inside of me. It’s like there was part of my soul that was dead and now it is alive.

For once, I am excited to experience freedom in my body. I think about all the ways I have mistreated my body and I realise: THERE IS ANOTHER WAY! Thank God!

My daughter doesn’t have to subject herself to everyday body shame and I can pioneer that way of living for her. Sure, I won’t always get it right, but there is mercy and grace for that.

I don’t have to simply stand by and accept negative conversations about weight, shape or appearance.

Jess Connolly’s book sets its readers on a mission. It is a mission that requires us to have lots of honest chats with the Holy Spirit. Chat’s that begin with questions:

• Are we treating our bodies as a project?
• Are we consuming content about an “ideal body”?
• Are we going to God and asking Him how we can care for our unique bodies?

I don’t know about you but I have been living my life with lots of nagging little goals, in the background of my mind: Lose weight, fix my style, do something about my hair, exercise more…

None of these goals are bad, but what I have found is that when you go to God and ask Him what is best for your body, He gives really small achievable, live-giving goals. More importantly: He knows you inside and out and He really does know what is best for you.

He is the healer. (Jeremiah 17:14.)

When I first prayed: “God how can I take care of my body right now?” God told me to simply be thankful for my body.

No diets or impossible exercise regimes that I would surely fail at. God is kind and I have been reminded of this so much lately.

If you are overwhelmed by weight-loss to-do lists, why not spend time with God asking Him for one practical step that will set you free from body shame. It might be a life-giving beauty routine or a simple phrase to say as you look in the mirror. But the point is: It is between you and God alone. Freedom is found in relationship with your creator and the one that adores you.

3. Freedom will require you to let things go.

We definitely have to take action against body shame in our culture and small, God-given steps are important. Equally, we must not remember what Jesus has already done for us.

There is nothing I can do to get my body “right” – it is right.

Jess Connolly’s book reminded me that I am already desired and loved and I can be at ease in my frame, as it is.

Watching my weight can be swapped with worshipping Jesus just as I am, whatever number on the scales. On my best days I can praise Him and on my worst days I can take the peace God offers me.

For me: Watching scales, participating and initiating conversations about weight and appearance are things I am letting go of. (Sometimes I pick them back up again and so this is something I am continuing to let go of!)

I wonder: What one thing can you let go of when it comes to body shame?

Can you let go of a negative thought or a damaging goal?

Is there an Instagram account you can stop following?

Is it time to move away from a certain Whatsapp thread?

Conclusion

I usually write journal-style posts about my relationship with God and any challenges I am facing. I offer an unedited, front-row seat to some of my deepest thoughts and struggles, as a 30-year-old Christian.

Today I just wanted to let you in on how my views on body shame are changing.

I really wanted to document this moment of realisation: How I view my body and live in it really matters. It matters for my children and for my children’s children.

There is another way to live that doesn’t involve feeling ugly, out of fashion and dodging camera phones!

If you can relate to anything I’ve said, grab “Breaking Free from Body Shame.” (Promise this is not an affiliate link or paid advertisement!)

Or, if you want a quick bit of freedom, ask Holy Spirit the three questions I noted:

• God, how is my body good?
• What’s one small thing I can do to take care of it?
• What can I let go of when it comes to body shame?