If you read last week’s blog, you will know that I committed to spending more time with God, listening to His voice.

It’s been seven days since that commitment and I have since heard God speak to my heart.

It is fair to say, I have taken a step towards Him – and Him towards me.

In that process, I’ve found something ugly. A root of insecurity.

I think this root is behind my actions of people-pleasing, comfort-eating and over-performing.

I want to start this post by saying – If something ugly comes to the surface, as you are walking with God, that doesn’t mean you’ve taken 10 steps back.

Sometimes, God highlights something that was always there, yet it seems worse when it’s highlighted. But I believe if He highlights it, He wants to heal it.

I heard the Holy Spirit say to me:

“You are a child of God, you are secure.”

Galatians 4 confirms this is true:

So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Galatians 4: 7, NIV.

In discovering this truth, I realised that I have been living as if I am insecure. That insecurity is at the root of much of my anxiety.

I’ll be honest, up until about twenty minutes ago, I didn’t really understand what insecurity was.

But then, I Googled!

I actually Googled the word, “security.”

I found out that security can mean a few things:

• Protection against possible attack.
• Confidence in one’s family and relationships.
• Freedom from risk and threat and change for the worst.
• Freedom from danger – safety.
• The fact or feeling that your job or money is safe and you will not lose it.

(All from Cambridge dictionary online.)

If, then, I am feeling insecure:

• I am not feeling protected against possible attach.
• I do not have confidence in my family and relationships.
• I am feeling fearful of risk, threat and change for the worst.
• I am feeling fearful of danger, lacking a sense of safety.
• I am feeling as though things in my life are not safe and therefore I am fearful about loss.

As I write this, I feel like I am not alone. Some of us are running around in anxiety, not realising that at the root of our actions is a fear that we are not safe or secure.

• I people-please because I forget that I am secure in God’s love – I cannot get away from it.
• I comfort-eat because I forget that I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control.
• I over-work because I forget that I can receive and rest in all that God has given to me – this is what I was made to do.

Galatians 4 continues:

Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces^[d]? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?

Galatians 4: 8 – 9, NIV, my emphasis.

These verses shook me a bit. It is not because I know God, have learnt about Him, or researched Him that I am free. Rather, it is simply about accepting the truth that He knows me.

God created me, He knows all my mistakes and failings, and He chose to die for those things so that I can live free from insecurity.

• Not so that I can dwell on how rubbish I acted in a meeting.
• Not so that I can sit here and spend an hour thinking about how I might look in that other person’s eyes.
• Not so that I can feel miserable or embarrassed about my body, or my personality.

I had to go to the doctors a couple of days ago. They wanted me to wear a robe, so they could check my heartbeat. I put the robe on… But I wore it the wrong way round.

Sounds silly, but I was so ashamed.

I thought of how people would laugh at me about it, I thought of the people that would say that putting a robe on backwards was typical Beth behaviour, always getting things wrong. I let that embarrassment chew away at me before I even told anyone else about it.  

The bible reads:

It is fine to be zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always, not just when I am with you.

Galatians 4: 19, NIV.

Zeal is when we are passionate about something.

When I read this scripture, I thought of how I can get passionate about what people will think of me. I can passionate pursue this guessing game of how people will respond to me, or speak of me. Especially when I am feeling insecure.

God never intended for me to get caught up in all of that insecurity.

God doesn’t want me to be zealous for things that are not of Him. God wants me to pursue and be passionate about His kingdom and His glory.

His blood covers every bit of sin and shame. Every last bit.

It sounds wild to me that we can just accept we are known, loved and right with God… and that is it.

There is no seven-step plan to overcome shame; it’s simply about receiving all that God has done for you.

I could have just chosen to not let that shame eat me up at the doctors, because God doesn’t put that embarrassment on me. It’s something I don’t even have to give a moment of consideration to.

At the end of Galatians 4, the writer Paul talks of a slave woman and a free woman. He speaks of how those who believe in Jesus are like children of the free woman, not the slave woman.

It reads:

But what does Scripture say? “Get rid of the slave woman and her [child], for the slave woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman’s [child].”^[ Therefore, brothers and sisters, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman.

Galatians 4: 30 – 21, NIV, my brackets.

The verses tell us that the slave woman’s children will never share in the inheritance of the free woman children.

An insecure mind set is not something I have inherited from God.

That means, as long as I am serving this insecurity, I cannot accept the inheritance God gave to me.

I cannot accept that I am loved and secure and He is never leaving me…

• Unless I let go of this insecure mind set.
• Unless I let go of this thing that keeps me a slave.
• Unless I accept all that God says about me.

As I finish writing this week’s blog post, I wonder:

Where are you living in slavery?

Is insecurity robbing you of a great inheritance?

Where are you missing out on the inheritance God gifted you?

The good news of the gospel is that you and I were made right with Jesus and all we have to do is accept that. He set us free from darkness, sin and shame so that we can live a life of hope, peace and joy.

We are made secure in God and safe in His love.

Security is not something we can earn by people-pleasing, comfort-eating or over-working. Security is a gift; A position given to us, as children of God.

I’m not saying security in God is an easy gift to receive… especially after spending years believing that security can be gained through a job, money or a human relationship.

I am, however, hoping that this blog post would simply highlight to you that life with God is way better than you and I think it is. That tendencies we have towards shame and insecurity don’t have to live with us forever. There will be a day for me when I don’t worry about what people think of me and there can be a day like that for you, too.

We simply have to start by praying God will expose those ugly roots, so that He can heal them.

I hope you will click of this post and do just that.