“God, you need to do… something. Something has got to change.”

This was a prayer I sent up around three weeks ago. I had just been to view a nursery in the hope that my little girl would attend. The nursery was great, my little girl loved it… but God told me He had other plans for us.

And I did not react to His vague promise of “other plans” with kindness.

I was so disappointed. So fed up of, well, struggling. I know some of you out there feel the same.

I told my bestie that I just wanted God to give me a map. I would follow it, sure.

Just give me the map, God.

“Now, please?“

One of the most frustrating things I find about following Jesus is that He promised we would struggle. He promised that we would face challenges and difficulty. He also makes it very clear that His way is different to ours.

Look at this sentence from Jesus:

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”

John 15:19, NIV, my emphasis.

Following Jesus requires us to accept that there will be suffering this side of heaven. Following Jesus also requires us to stick out like a sore thumb. And to be rejected… great!

This week, I’ve been reading the book of Esther, chapter 3. (For my rambles on Esther 1 and 2, read my previous blogs.)

Esther 3 starts with a man called Mordecai choosing to stick out like a sore thumb:

 “All the Royal officials at the king’s gate knelt down and paid honour to Haman, for the king had commanded this concerning him. But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honour.”

Esther 3: 2, NIV.

“Day after day they spoke to him but he refused to comply.”

Esther 3: 4, NIV.

Mordecai would not honour Haman. He stood his ground, despite others repeatedly telling him to do otherwise.

Perhaps they were persuading him to do otherwise. I can imagine their whispers:

 “Do it our way, look at what we do, it’s easy, just join in, be like us…”

Can you imagine the level of peer pressure this guy was facing?

Yet, Mordecai was true to His God. He did not give honour to Haman. Even though that meant rejection, at the very least.

Listen: I am writing today as a woman that has been asked by God to go against the grain. To tune into what God has for my life, rather than looking around at others.

Because, the thing is: God does speak to each one of us. He hears our prayers and He answers them… just not always in the way we expect.

For each one of us He has a plan, but it is not like a printed road map. His plan requires us to lean into Him; to talk to Him and to listen for His still, small voice.

I want to encourage you today – if you feel like you are going against the grain for God – you are not alone. Not at all.

In fact, here’s how God answered my prayer three weeks ago: by putting me in community with others. He didn’t give me the map I wanted, He just kept telling me to lean into Him and find my people.

Lean into God; Listen. Find my people; Stick with my people.

That’s what our friend Mordecai did in Esther 3.

By refusing to bow down to Haman, Mordecai honoured his God and stuck with his people and their beliefs.

In response, Haman was outraged and planned to kill – not just Mordecai – but all of the Jews in King

Xerxes’ kingdom. The book reads:

There is a certain people dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom who keep themselves separate. Their customs are different from those of other people, and they do not obey the king’s laws; it is not in the king’s best interest to tolerate them.

Esther 3: 8, NIV, my emphasis.

The Jews were in the world… but they were not of the world. They stuck to their God and loved Him and each other well. And that looked different in the eyes of Haman.

Sometimes, when we do things differently people can feel threatened, offended or annoyed.

People can react to your choices and you can’t control them! You can only decide to stay focused on what you have been called to, who you’ve been called to and who you have been called by.

Truth time: I hate that!

My little brain runs through a list of people that will reject me every time I am asked to step out and do something a little different. Maybe yours does the same?

But I want this blog to be a prompt to you. Ask yourself: Are you listening and obeying God, or are you just fitting in?

The final line of Esther 3 gets me. News of the plan to kill all of the Jews in Xerxes’ kingdom reached the city of Susa, and the Bible records that very moment:

The king and Haman sat down to drink, but the city of Susa was bewildered.

Esther 3: 15, NIV.

One man’s offense caused such a hideous plan to destroy all Jews in an entire kingdom. Sometimes following God means that the world hates us. Means that we face suffering and threat and rejection.

But it doesn’t mean we’ve done anything wrong.

This is something I struggle with so much! If something in my life goes wrong, I think that I must have made a mistake. Must have messed up, somewhere.

Truth be told, rejection, suffering and trouble are simply to be expected.

Yet, we can take hope because we are a bunch of people – a group, a community – that all share in our suffering. In fact, the bible says that we share in Jesus’ suffering and rejection, too.

So, my word to you today is twofold…

Firstly, don’t shy away from following God.

Listen to Him; do what He says.

And the second part is this: Know that you are not alone.

Get yourself in community with other people that are following God. People that are also going against the grain and taking the flack for it.

Share in your suffering, share in your strength. Just don’t do this thing alone because, if the book of Esther tells us anything, it is that following God is not always easy.

But, as risk of a cheesy blog ending: Jesus makes it all worth it.

Praying for you to be as bold as Mordecai this week, friend.