I’ve been thinking about Jesus lately.

And that’s the problem.

I’ve been thinking about Him.

Making assumptions about Him.

Making up a version of Him in my head.

A version that let me down.

A version that didn’t do what I expected.

A version that didn’t seem to answer my prayers. That doesn’t answer my prayers.

Have you ever had a friend in your life that has been flaky?

They say they want to meet up and then, when the day arrives, they let you down.

Once they do this a few times, you begin to put a little wall up.

Every time you arrange something with them you tell yourself not to be surprised if they cancel last minute. That way, your heart doesn’t feel the sting of rejection.

Your friendship is protected because you don’t feel surprised by the disappointment. You almost expect it; that’s the way your relationship functions – broken but predictable. Manageable. Because manageable and controllable sometimes make us feel in control.

Maybe you’ve known someone like that, or maybe you have been like that?

Sadly, I’ve been treating Jesus as if He’s a flaky friend recently.

I’ve asked Him to meet me at a certain time at a certain place. But, really, I am not fully believing he will show up. There is this little niggle in my mind that says: “He’s not gonna make it.”

The niggle is a total lie.

The niggle uses my past experience of seemingly unanswered prayer to make me feel as though it is telling the truth.

The niggle says: “Don’t expect God to show up, He didn’t show up in the way you expected last time you were in this situation…”

But, really, this niggle is just a clever, crafty lie, from the pit of hell.

• The truth is you can be disappointed and God can handle it.
• The truth is God is not in the least bit flaky.

He is always there and always ready to speak to you. (See Matthew 28:20 and John 10: 27-28.)

Here’s the thing, though: you have to be willing to switch your made up version of God for the real Jesus.

The real Jesus that experienced everything you and I did as a human and isn’t afraid to talk to us in our mess, about our mess and through our mess.

Let go of your false version of Him. Stop putting a seemingly protective wall up, because He is not a flaky friend. He is the real deal.

This week I want to usher you in to a little honesty…

And it starts by answering this question: What is it that you really want from a friend?

In other words: What would your perfect friend look like, sound like, and be like…

• Would they be rich and pay for your favourite coffee, or entry to a place you’ve always wanted to go?
• Would they be like you, would they want long chats like you do?
• Would they have a kid the same age, would they share your opinions and your beliefs?
• Would they be someone that is always ready to meet up at every given moment? Someone that you can text and rest assured they will answer with a lovely, thoughtful text?

What is it that you really want from a true friend?

Because Jesus calls himself our friend. He can be our closest, truest friend, if we let Him in.

In the book of John, Jesus said:

“This is My commandment, that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you.No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends.You are my friends if you keep on doing what I command you.I do not call you servants any longer, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you [My] friends, because I have revealed to you everything that I have heard from My Father.”

John 15: 12 – 15, AMP.

At a glimpse, Jesus is telling us about the truest, realest, most perfect friendship. And it might differ from your version of what a perfect friendship should look like…

It is a friendship in which:

• He seeks the best for us.
• He loves us.
• There is no greater love than the love he has for us.
• He reveals the Father’s heart to us.

What we can expect from this perfect friendship is love. Just love. Surreal and magnificent love. Love that is out of our control, love that is surprising and adamant. Faithful and lifelong.

So, as I write my thoughts out for the internet to see, I wonder: are you letting Jesus be a perfect friend to me, or are you putting your own expectations of friendship on Him? Are you unsurprised when He fails to meet your standards of friendship?

Take some time, be honest about your answer. It might lead you to reconnect with the real Jesus, instead of the one you’ve been holding at arms-length.

Here is the second thing I’m leading you to ponder…

When we choose to make someone our friend, it’s got to be out of love. Not because we feel we ought to befriend them, not because we want to change them, or want something from them. It’s all about love.

As I think on the above, I realise that I need to let Jesus show me how to be a friend to others. A true friend. Because friendship isn’t about building walls around your heart and controlling certain individuals or circumstances. It’s about love and forgiveness… and then some more love.

It’s not about striving for perfection, either –Jesus is our perfect friend.

• It is about unselfishly seeking the best for one another.
• It is about laying down your life for them.
• It is about doing what Jesus commands.

So, if you have time, here are some questions to ask yourself…

• Are you really letting go of your needs and, instead, considering the needs of your your friends?
• Are you on your knees praying for your mates, or are you a little too caught up in your own circumstances?
• Are you forgiving towards them? Or are you holding onto bitterness? You might even need to let go of some friendships.
• Are you loving with your friends? Or are you controlling?

Here’s what it boils down to: when it comes to friendship: is your heart soft, or is it defensive?

Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve got a hard heart. Accept that Jesus is with you and can make all things new. (Revelation 21:5, Romans 8:28.) Let Him re-define friendship for you, this week.

Praying for renewed minds on friendship, my Saturday seekers!

P.S. If you feel challenged by any of the above, this song might be helpful.