Day 17 – The Exchange: 21 Days of Spiritual Swaps

Loneliness.

Let’s talk about it.

I have great friends and a brilliant family. I am part of a thriving church community. I am also part of a few playgroups and mother and baby classes.

Despite all of that, I have felt really lonely lately.

It seems to me that there are two types of loneliness.

The first is where you are actually on your own. Due to a global pandemic, many of the community groups, meet-ups and events have been cancelled. So I have been physically lonely, (although I do have my lovely one-year-old daughter to keep me company!)

It definitely takes more effort to keep company, during these challenging times.

However, though physical loneliness has been a bit of a problem for me, I think there is a second type of loneliness – and that is the one I really want to talk about today.

It’s a loneliness where you feel like nobody understands you, or what you are going through.

A loneliness where you can be surrounded by people, but still feel totally alone in your struggles.

A loneliness that makes you question whether there is something wrong with you.

That loneliness is what I came to God with this morning.

Because, I feel like God is doing something distinctive in my life at the moment. It is like He is leading me through a period of growth, or change. He lets me fail – He helps me understand why I failed – He shows me how to move forward. Again and again, this has been going on for a few months now!

I’ve uncovered lies that I was believing, I’ve let God lead me to truth and I have sought to make that truth permanent in my brain.

I’ve realised that I am too harsh on myself.

I’ve realised that I am a fast-paced achiever, which is a strength and a weakness.

I’ve realised that I have big dreams, big hopes and a big adventure ahead of me.

And, in all of this, I feel quite lonely.

I feel a bit like I’m waiting to grow up! I am waiting to get through this, to come out the other side.

But I can’t seem to find anyone else that is suffering these growing pains the way I am.

I don’t think I know many people who feel things deeply, like I do. People that feel all this stuff, yet don’t run away with those feelings, seem hard to come by.

And, as I come to God with this kind of loneliness today, I know that He gets me.

I know that He will empathise with me, yet tell me when I am being overly dramatic!

I know that Jesus has been in my shoes before. But I also know that He doesn’t have a ‘been there, done that’ attitude. He listens to me, high-fives me for the things I am doing well and hugs the failure out of me!

In the bible, Jesus says:

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

John 15:15, NIV.

Jesus isn’t someone who excludes you because of your age. He isn’t a mean boss that disregards you because you are too young.

He isn’t a cruel master that doesn’t care about your thoughts and failures.

Jesus is a true friend, who understands you – when you feel like nobody else does.

He is also a kind leader, who will lead you to physical people in your life that will listen and understand you.

I love how, in the above verse, Jesus says: “everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

He doesn’t keep things from us that will help us. He is a true friend.

So, if you are feeling all the feels loneliness can bring… remember that Jesus is the very best friend you could ever have!

Let him listen to you, tell Him why you think others don’t understand. Maybe you think prayer should be formal, but it doesn’t have to be. I will often write in my journal, as if writing to Jesus. And I literally tell Him everything.

I will write things like: “Jesus I am so mad at this, I am so frustrated by this person and I absolutely hate growing up!”

I will moan and pour out all my feelings and then I will realise how great He is!

Try it! Go to Jesus with your loneliness and swap it for His friendship.

Action Points:

• Grab a journal or piece of paper and write down all the reasons you are frustrated or lonely today.
• Thank Jesus for being a true friend that understands, respects and leads you.