A few weeks ago, I asked my husband a question:
“What do I talk about most?”
His reply:
“Probably feeling overwhelmed.”
He wasn’t being mean; his tone was very casual.
My response was not-so-casual (and said in an extremely broad Yorkshire accent…)
“Oh noooooooo.”
Listen: It is not wrong to feel overwhelmed.
It is not wrong to talk about feeling overwhelmed.
But,I think something I am really noticing – in both myself and others – is this tendency to get lost in big feelings.
Sometimes, we go through motions without taking time necessary to:
1. Let ourselves feel,
2. Process how we feel and
3. Give those feelings to God.
Feelings are God-given. They indicate that there is something going on mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically that we need to deal with.
Feelings are not supposed to lead us, though. In fact, they are pretty shocking leaders.
If you have read my recent posts, you will know that I have been blogging through the book of Joshua.
In Joshua 6, we saw God’s people reach their promised land and conquer the city of Jericho. God gave Josh and his people some instructions in Joshua 6:17 – 18:
- Jericho is to be devoted to God.
- Only spare a prostitute called Rahab and her family, kill everyone else.
- Keep away from the devoted things (shiny objects, plunder) otherwise you will bring trouble on God’s people (a.k.a Israel.)
Spoiler alert: Israel sinned. We flick to Joshua 7 and hear about a battle.
God’s people are led to a place called Ai. The place is small and Josh’s spies decide that Ai won’t be hard to conquer at all.
Joshua listens and sends a small army to Ai.
Sadly, the small army was unsuccessful.
God’s people weren’t just unable to capture Ai, they became utterly fearful:
At this the hearts of the people melted in fear and became like water.
Joshua 7: 5, NIV.
Pause there, for a sec. These mighty men of God had seen the Lord roll back a raging river for their safety. They had walked on dry land, where flooded waters should have overwhelmed them. They had just seen God defeat a walled city with their praise alone. They had witnessed God’s power go before them.
Yet, a few in Ai cause them to fear.
Fear is a brilliant indicator and a terrible guide. If you are going to win a fight, nurturing fear is not a sound battle plan.
Fear will without doubt tar your focus, give you knobbly knees and ruin your ability to think straight.
Fear has to be dealt with.
Joshua brings his fear to the Lord:
And Joshua said, “Alas, Sovereign Lord, why did you ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us? If only we had been content to stay on the other side of the Jordan!
Joshua 7: 7. NIV.
Can you hear fear in his plea?
Just a few chapters ago, Joshua was making a memorial before the Lord – telling God that he would never forget how faithful God was in getting Israel across the river Jordan.
Now, Josh is regretting stepping out with His God. He is almost cursing God for ever sending them across the water.
Fear makes us extremely forgetful – another reason why we need to nip it in the bud.
Here is the thing: Fear feels all-consuming. I empathise with those that are stuck in it. I think God empathises with you when you are stuck in a massive feeling.
After I suffered birth trauma, panic would overwhelm me in everyday circumstances. I cannot number the amount of times I experienced a near – or full-on – panic attack in my local supermarket.
When panic floods your body, you are unable to rationalise. Nothing feels bigger than the panic of that moment.
And when you are panicking like that, you need to know that your body has been designed by God to keep you safe. So you can expect adrenaline to pump around your system. You can expect to want to run, lash out or freeze in response.
But we need to do what Joshua did and bring those big feelings to God.
When it comes to trauma, I could not move forward until I had processed what had happened to me. And I did it in an incredible therapy experience, which didn’t even require me to verbally say what had happened to me.
The science behind it is sure – your brain has to process a traumatic event, if you want to live a life free from panic attacks, overthinking, flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms.
And if you have been through PTSD and experienced healing, you will be amazed at how fast healing from daily symptoms can occur, with the right therapy.
All that to say: Feelings cannot be ignored.
Josh brings his fear to God;
1. He feels his pain,
2. Puts it into words and
3. Brings it before the Lord.
That is exactly what you and I ought to do. Some of us need therapy to get to that point, others need to write it out. But it is a process that cannot be bypassed.
I strongly feel that some of us are having feelings of regret, “what have I done,” or maybe we are battling feelings of grief, insecurity and shame.
We might have a hodge-podge mix of the above – simply because we haven’t taken time out to actually let ourselves feel and address what it is we are feeling.
Please allow this post to be your prompt: What are some of the things you have been feeling lately?
Maybe you need to ask a friend what you are talking about a lot at the moment.
Once Joshua had brought his fear to God’s feet, the Lord gave Josh wisdom:
Israel has sinned; they have violated my covenant, which I commanded them to keep. They have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen, they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions. That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies; they turn their backs and run because they have been made liable to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction.
Joshua 7: 11 – 12, NIV.
Sin was behind Israel’s fear.
Fear was an indicator of a problem that needed to be resolved, with God.
At the end of Joshua 7, we discover that a man called Achan allowed his feelings to lead him to take some beautiful-looking plunder from Jericho:
When I saw in the plunder a beautiful robe from Babylonia, two hundred shekels of silver and a bar of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them. They are hidden in the ground inside my tent, with the silver underneath.”
Joshua 7: 21, NIV.
Achan allowed his feelings to lead him.His feelings mastered him.
I wonder – did he feel fear that God would not provide?
Did he feel envy or jealousy – signalling that He didn’t believe God had good for him, personally? Maybe He thought God has a good plan for others, not for him.
Did he feel hurt? Was he done with loss and trauma? Was he looking for comfort in a robe, gold and silver, instead of in His Lord?
Whatever he was feeling, we know that those feelings were strong. So strong, they were all Achan could think about at that moment. His sin led to destruction for Israel and his own death.
It is hard for us to accept that our feelings – strong as they are – should not lead us.
Our brains know that we should follow God, but when we are facing tears, pain, guilt, stress – we just want to escape.
God knows this.
He doesn’t want us to suppress what we feel, He simply desires us to:
- Feel it.
- Acknowledge it.
- Bring it to God.
I hope that you find time in your week to pray about where you have been feeling big feels. I pray that you would be able to take a moment to feel them (warning: could be ugly!) And then I really recommend accepting them and bringing them to God.
No matter how crazy they are; God already knows.
Unless you bring them to God, you will always feel as though they are overwhelming. Too big, too real, too powerful.
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