Imagine that I am sitting across a coffee shop table from you.
I am sipping a hot chocolate, you have your drink of choice. We are laughing, chatting and of course we can have cake. Don’t worry about the bill, this is meant to be a fun and relaxing coffee sesh between friends.
Now we are relaxed, I pop my cup on the table, look into your smiley eyes and then…
I blurt out six words and a question mark:
“What are you withholding from God?”
You look back at me and take a moment for these words to sink in. You let the defenses down. You choose to be really honest with me. This isn’t a test. You are not out to please me.
Think for a sec: What would your answer be?
Would you squirm, feel punished and uncomfortable because you believe you are holding too much back from God?
Like, Beth, where do I start!
Maybe the question makes you instantly feel condemned?
You feel like God wants your time, your money, your job, your spouse, your children – and those are five precious cards that you want to keep close to your chest. Any one of them is too hard to put down.
It’s not that you don’t love God, you just sometimes wonder if He asks too much of you.
Sometimes you question if you have what it takes to be a true follower. Your prayer life is all over the place.
Truth is, you stay away from the questions that are too deep, believing that you’ll never be as close to God as you want to be, because – in your opinion – you have too many struggles.
It’s just too hard, Beth. I want to give it all up, but there’s something in me that feels like it is too much effort.
I read this part of James today:
Let no one say when he is being tempted “I am being tempted by God” [for temptation does not originate from God, but from our own flaws]; for God cannot be tempted by [what is] even, and He Himself tempts no one.
James 1: 13, AMP.
In the foot of my study bible it says:
God tempts no one but God does sometimes place His people in adverse circumstances for the purpose of building Godly character.
(The Amplified Study Bible).
For instance, if you flick to the beginning of the bible you will see that God tested his servant Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his one and only son:
God tested [the faith and commitment] of Abraham and said to him… “Take now your son, your only son [of promise], whom you love, Issac, and go to the region of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”
Genesis 22: 1 – 2, AMP, my ellipses.
If you are being tempted to sin and are struggling with sin, it’s not God’s doing.
God sent His one and only son to die on the cross and take away all of the punishment of sin. God wants you to be free from it and will provide a way out:
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
1 Corinthians 10: 13, NIV.
However, if you find yourself in a trial – if you find yourself tested and challenged by God to lay something down – He is building your character.
For me, the story of Abraham being asked to give up his one and only son makes me stressed!
Abraham was willing to do whatever God said. Even if that meant leading his son – the one he prayed for, waited for and trusted God for – to a bonfire burial.
Spoiler alert – Just as Abraham was about to put the knife in his son and offer him as a sacrifice, the Angel of the Lord steps in and provides a ram.
Abraham trusts God and surrenders everything to Him, not knowing what will happen. Simply believing in God’s faithfulness, whatever that looks like.
And so, here we go, back to my original question:
What are you withholding from God?
When I asked myself this question, I thought of my finances, my health and my time.
In my mind, there’s a few things I should be doing in these three areas. I look at these three with a critical eye…
I believe there’s even more unnecessary spending to be pulled back. I believe there’s more exercise to be done and I should probably eat a few more veggies. I believe my time is not always well-spent. I often feel too busy and out of control. I should say no more.
Maybe in your mind you have a list, like mine?
- You believe you need to let God into your relationships, you know there’s a bunch of pain there. You just don’t have the energy to deal with it.
- You believe you need to let God into your career choices. You just don’t think you are going to like what He will say.
- You believe you need to let God into your marriage. You just don’t want to own up to your mistakes.
Here’s the deal: I thought I was holding back a bunch of things from God; but then I heard His voice.
I heard Him say that there was only one thing I was holding back from Him.
For me, I was withholding my desire to be approved by people.
I was holding onto this need to be affirmed by people in every area of my life.
If I let that go I would be free.
If I let that go and instead focus on the fact that I am approved and affirmed by God, I would be truly free.
I read a bit of Matthew this morning and it says:
If your eye is bad -spiritually blind] your whole body will be full of darkness [devoid of God’s precepts]
Matt 6:23, AMP.
In other words, if I am seeing all of my life through the lens of “God is not pleased with me, I need to get my approval from other people,” I will not live in my God-given freedom, my inheritance.
Every area of my life will be polluted by this lens.
I will seek approval where I am not supposed to seek approval.
My husband and I love listening to podcasts from Dave Niblock at North Church in Leeds.
Recently, he was preaching about confidence.
He said something along the lines of:
“Competence grows with experience. Confidence grows with encouragement”
It made me realise: If I want to grow in confidence, I have to get my encouragement from God.
I can try and grab my confidence from other people, but it will come and go. People might encourage me one minute and then criticise me another.
But if I get my approval from God no one and nothing can take that away from me.
I am able to see clearly and live from a firm and solid foundation.
I believe that I am not alone in needing a fresh bout of confidence, today.
I believe that many of us are withholding something deep.
We may think we are holding back our finances or our future, but really – What’s beneath it all?
What’s underneath the surface?
God knows and when He tells you then you can start to get unstuck.
You’ll also start to feel a lot less condemned.
He is not a mean dad in the sky that demands money from you ‘cause: “He’s boss and you’re not.”
He is not out to humiliate you or make you lose everything you’ve worked for.
bethcoppenhall.com 