In the past few weeks two people have felt to share this bible verse with me:

“My [child], do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his [child].”

Hebrews 12: 6. NIV, my brackets.

God disciplines those He loves. His children,

Now, when I think of discipline, I think of hard work. 

Discipline makes me think of not eating too much sugar, even though you want it. It makes me think of having to go for a run, even when you don’t want to go. 

When I think of discipline, I think of practicing something difficult, again and again. 

When I think of discipline, I think of punishment and negative consequences.

All too often I think God wants me to do better. Spend less, eat well, pray more. 

Yet, on Monday, I found God leading me to go out and spend money on a coffee for myself, even though I’ve just been given a fancy-drink-maker that I could use at home, free of charge.

You may think I am bonkers, but I honestly felt God lead me to a Starbucks drive-thru. I had the nicest, quiet coffee just talking to God while my two littlest babes actually slept. My soul felt content in that small moment.

And I tell you this because it rattled my theology. God led me to a place where money is spent and sugar is drank – so He can’t be dead set against those things. He wants me to have moments like that. 

He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul (see Psalm 23.) Some days those still waters will look like a walk by the mersey, other days they look like a coffee-shop drive thru. The point is: HE leads. Not me.

As I pondered, I began to realise that God-discipline isn’t the same as Beth-discipline:

• God-discipline isn’t about punishment. Jesus took every punishment we could ever deserve, when He died on the cross. God is not looking to punish us at all.

• God-discipline is about Him being a dad. It is about Him protecting us and training us to listen to His voice and obey Him. It’s His voice and His instruction that will ultimately satisfy us and give us life.

On Thursday, I met a family that were really, fully, properly living by faith. I can’t share their story, it’s theirs to tell. But – trust me – they were doing what God told them to, even though it didn’t make any sense!

And as I spoke to them, I realised: They carried something that I didn’t. On paper, we were both in the same place, doing what God had asked us to do. Me as a stay-at-home mum of three, them going against the cultural norm.

Yet, they have joy and peace and trust that God would show up for them. To them, it was simple: They were doing what God had told them to, and because of that, God would do what they could not do. He would honour their obedience by meeting their needs. They didn’t question.

They were free from worry. Absolutely free.

I felt excited speaking to them, yet it also made me check myself. 

Am I doing what God has called me to do? 

If so, why do I fret and worry and stress?

If I really, really, really believe that God will practically meet my needs, then why do I try to do so much in my own strength?

I believe that God is training me to let go of self-criticism, stress, worry and guilt. I believe He is training me to simply do what He says and believe Him for the things that I cannot do by myself.

I believe He wants me to ask Him what to do with my days. I believe He wants me to go where He says because His leadership will give me life.

I might not be making sense with this one, but what I am trying to say is that while Jesus did promise suffering in this world for we who follow Him, He also promised joy and hope and peace. And if we are not carrying those things, then I think something must be amiss. 

Maybe we’ve made it too complicated? 

Maybe we are trying to do what only God can do?

The Lord wants to train us to be led by Him because He is the one that will restore our soul. 

He is the one that will provide for us when we can’t. 

He is the one who will bring the healing that we cannot get by our own means. 

If we are thinking that God is down on us, telling us to be strict with ourselves, then we’ve got it wrong.

He’s cheering us on. He’s asking us to come to Him for directions. 

Obedience and trust can be simple. We can be people who have peace whilst facing what others would consider stressful. But we have to be honest with ourselves: Are we striving for peace, or are we letting God give us peace?

Are we chastising ourselves or are we letting God be in charge of telling us when to stop and when to go?

God’s correction always leads us to a place of trust in Him. So maybe you need to let Him lead you today? Maybe you need to join my morning prayer and say: God, guide me. Instruct me and forgive me when I do things that you do not ask me to. Correct me if I am wrong, Lord.

In Jesus name.