I have been sitting here for a while now trying to work out what to write on today’s blog.

I like writing about women in the bible and how God encounters them, so I found a story in Luke about a woman that washes Jesus’ feet. (It’s in Luke 7.)

Now, here’s the thing: I clean a lot of dirty noses and nappies at the moment, but I don’t clean a lot of feet. 

I can also tell you that I have been invited round to my friend’s house tomorrow, and I shall not be offering to clean the feet of any other guests in attendance! (Especially the feet of those I do not know.)

Yet, in the bible there is a woman that goes round to a religious person’s house. This religious person is called Simon; he is Jewish.

Here’s the thing: We don’t even know if this woman was invited to Simon’s house. But we know that Jesus was invited, so our woman showed up regardless, and started cleaning Jesus’ feet. 

Here’s what the text says:

One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, so Jesus went into the Pharisee’s house and sat at the table.  A sinful woman in the town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So she brought an alabaster jar of perfume and stood behind Jesus at his feet, crying. She began to wash his feet with her tears, and she dried them with her hair, kissing them many times and rubbing them with the perfume. 

Luke 7: 36 – 38, NIV.

Just stop to picture the scene for a moment: You are at a meal. A woman starts crying and wiping the feet of another guest with her hair. How would you feel, watching this? 

Would you be uncomfortable? 

Would you tell her to stop? 

Would you be embarrassed for her?

If we are honest with ourselves, we all want to fit in with culture. Fitting in feels good. Being comfortable feels good. 

But so often worshiping Jesus looks weird.

Worshiping Jesus looks different. It requires us to step out of our comfort zones. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

When I was in church last week, the service leader asked people to come up and share stories of what God had done in their lives in the past week. 

I couldn’t think of anything to share. 

But, when I left the service, I realized that it wasn’t just me – I had just sat in a room full of people that genuinely loved Jesus and nobody shared about what God had done for them in that given time-slot. I am not saying this to condemn, I was in the same boat.

I then wondered… Why? Is it that God wasn’t doing anything good, or is it that we felt afraid to truly go and praise God, in a room full of other people? Did we feel self-conscious? Did we want to fit in?

My question: What held us back, at that moment?

Because, here I am, faced with a similar question this morning: What is holding me back from loving God in my life, right now?

As I reflect, I realise… Quite often, the one thing holding me back from worshiping Jesus is self-criticism.

I think that I am a terrible parent because I shouted at my kids multiple times this week. I think that I am bad with money because I spent too much on coffee. I am critical of my appearance, my fluffy eyebrows and my terrible dress sense! I am critical of my lack of willpower when it comes to exercise and healthy eating. 

And there is more…

I often think I talk too much when I am with friends. I leave play dates thinking: “I should have listened more, I don’t even know how they are!” . I often worry about how other people see me – Do they think I am too intense? 

All too often I wonder if I am doing it right.

It can be being a wife and parent, 

it can be work, 

it can be handling money, 

it can be being a friend or sister or daughter. 

It can be studying my bible and being a Christian!

Whatever it is, I often beat myself up and give myself a hard time that I am not excelling in that area.

All of this critical thinking does stop me from worshiping Jesus.

When I think about this woman with her perfume, doing all she possibly can to love Jesus – giving what she has -I realise that self-criticism stops me from going there.

I am so caught up in these self-critical thoughts that I honestly don’t think about what Jesus has done for me often enough. My brain is focused on the criticism, rather than the truth of God’s goodness and mercy towards me.

As a result I often feel guilty, like I am not doing enough, being enough or trying enough.

But if I take the time to focus on what God has done for me, all of those critical thoughts melt away. I feel peace.

Here’s what Jesus said to our feet-washing woman in the bible story:

“Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. You gave me no kiss of greeting, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in. You did not put oil on my head, but she poured perfume on my feet. I tell you that her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.”

Luke 7: 44 – 47, NIV.

The religious fella was not thinking about who Jesus was. In fact, it seems like Simon invited Jesus round to question Him ad he comments:

“If Jesus were a prophet, he would know that the woman touching him is a sinner!”

Luke 7: 39, NIV.

But Jesus corrects Simon and points out that the woman has not stopped praising Him. In other words: Jesus notices that Simon was too preoccupied to show Him love.

I resonate with Simon. I am preoccupied with self-criticism that just drives me to want to try better and do better. 

Later, the text reads:

Jesus said to the woman, “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”

Luke 7: 50, NIV, my emphasis.

Go in peace. That is what Jesus wants for me. He wants peace for my mind, peace for my soul. He wants me to know that I am loved and forgiven and do not have to waste time dwelling on negative thoughts.

A friend reminded me this morning that it is God that causes us to flourish. It is only God from whom we can get peace. We can’t get it from mentally criticizing ourselves, trying harder or striving.

And so, this morning , it is time for you to work out: What is holding you back? What is holding you back from enjoying peace? What is holding you back from shouting about your Jesus, from the front of a church service?

Why do you keep your God-given stories to yourself, why not share them and glorify God? Is it fear? Is it time for you to step out of that?

Or, like me, are you stuck on train after train of negative thinking? Have you forgotten, friend, that you have been forgiven of so, so, so much? Maybe it is time to remove whatever is pre-occupying your brain.

This morning, I asked God what to write about and I looked at my laptop charger. It had a green light on it. And I thought about friends in my life who are struggling and I realised that God is giving us a green light to praise Him. A green light to go in peace. 

When we take our eyes off the struggle and the stress, we will see that we always have permission to praise Jesus. In every season, every situation, everyday we get the opportunity to praise Jesus. And it doesn’t have to look perfect and it isn’t going to go smoothly. 

But I promise you, there is a green light in your life and it is telling you to go and praise Jesus. Whether at the front of a church service, in your car or in tiny moments when you catch those critical thoughts filling your beautiful brain. You can stop and say: “Thank you Jesus for your peace. Thank you Jesus that you love me. Thank you that this struggle is not forever. Thank you that you are stretching me and even though I hate it I will have a story to tell once I walk through this, with you.”

It is easy to fit in. It is easy to become un-needy for God. It is easy to like what culture likes, without questioning if God would do it that way.

It is really easy for me to feed my brain with thoughts that I’m not good enough, as I scroll through endless Instagram posts of mother’s looking great and giving perfect-mum-advice. 

It is much harder to turn away from that stuff and instead focus on all that Jesus has done.

But I am suggesting this morning that you get a pen and paper and write down all of the good things He’s given to you. (Or maybe just shout them out loud as you drive your car!)

Think about all of the things Jesus has forgiven you from and redeemed for you. Think of those things that are going well in your life, maybe you have a great marriage, good friendships or a good job.

And dare to believe that those areas which are causing you discomfort will one day be stories of hope, for other people to wonder at. 

I offer you permission to praise, this morning. There’s nothing holding you back.