God is talking to me about rest. Slowing down. 

• When I ask Him why I’m finding pregnancy so hard this time… It’s because I need to rest.
• When I ask Him why my eldest child’s behavior has been off… It’s because I need to rest.
• When I ask Him why I am feeling emotionally down, even though I have so much to be thankful for… It’s because I need to rest.

So… Why don’t I do it?

Why don’t I listen to God and rest?

Why am I resisting the very answer to my prayers?

While I was pondering over these questions, I began to think of two women from the bible.

First, a story about a widow’s offering.

It goes like this:

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

Mark 12: 41-44, NIV.

Let me get to the point: This woman does not hold back.

She gave everything. Literally all she had to live on.

She didn’t resist worshiping Jesus. She was all-in. 

No stalling. Not just a little bit of obedience. 

Full devotion.

“My trust is here.”

There is another story about another woman’s offering, in Mark’s gospel. This woman pours expensive perfume over Jesus:

Jesus was in Bethany. He was at the table in the home of Simon, who had a skin disease. A woman came with a special sealed jar. It contained very expensive perfume made out of pure nard. She broke the jar open and poured the perfume on Jesus’ head.

Some of the people there became angry. They said to one another, “Why waste this perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s pay. The money could have been given to poor people.” So they found fault with the woman.

“Leave her alone,” Jesus said. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.

Mark 14: 3-6, NIV.

Like the woman with the coins, this lady does not hold back.

Neither woman is named in these pieces of scripture; Yet they are both known eternally because of their devotion to Jesus. They are known for not holding back from worshiping Him fully.

What some people called a waste, Jesus saw as love, devotion and dedication.

It is easy for me to say: “I want to be like these two women.”

The truth is, my lack of rest probably comes from a desire to control, a fear of the unknown and a lack of trust…

• If I rest, will I still have friends that want to see me?
• If I rest, will I get bored?
• If I rest, will I let people down?

Being all in for Jesus is costly. It requires us to stand out from the crowd. To face criticism, just like the woman pouring perfume.

It requires us to not know what’s next, other than Jesus.

The poor woman gave every last bit of what she had to live on, there was no plan B.

Can we honestly say we live like that?

I wonder, what is holding you back from giving your all?

Do you even know what giving your all looks like, in this season?

For some of us giving our worship to Jesus might look like giving our finances away.

Not holding back from giving Jesus everything might look like resting. It might look like saying no to a job. It might mean moving house.

I think it’s important for us to be able to say that nothing is holding us back from worshiping Jesus. No fear of man, no people-pleasing, no desire for control. Nothing.

And I don’t say this to condemn: I say this because I believe that what God has for each of us is truly good. 

Like truly, properly, better-than-we-could-ever-imagine good.

So: Are you resisting giving your all?

Are you shying away from God’s instruction, because you are scared what other people will think?

The truth is: It is our choice to hold back or to give it all.

It is our choice to stall or to do what we know is right by God.

I feel like God is saying: Don’t hold back. 

• Don’t hold back from pursuing Him today. 

• Don’t hold back because it’s awkward or uncomfortable or risky. 

• Don’t hold back because you’ll stick out from the crowd and face criticism. 

Give your full devotion.

It is time for you and I to be all-in.