Let me tell you about yesterday.

Yesterday, I had an afternoon with zero plans.

I wanted to spend this time with my daughter – my son was asleep in the pram and I knew that my girl and I needed some one to one.

I decided to go to the Liverpool Anglican Cathedral. (It’s my 3-year-old’s favourite city spot!)

Of course, my girl was made up: We walked through the Cathedral gardens together, enjoyed wowing over an incredible art installation.We even bought a book about Easter and enjoyed soup and hot chocolate together.

Sounds idyllic, right?

Truth is, on the way to the Cathedral – I didn’t feel right about going. In my spirit I did not think it was the right thing to do, at all.

It wasn’t wise for us, financially. It wasn’t great for exhausted me to trek further from home. It wasn’t even right for my girl who actually would have benefited from being at home.

• So, why did I ignore the Holy Spirit inside of me?
• Why did I pro-actively choose to do something that God was telling me not to do?
• Why did I try and ignore the wisdom inside of me?

The Bible says the flesh wants what it wants… and what it wants is contrary to the spirit. (Galatians 5:17.) So, part of me wanting to do my own thing is just a little bit of sinful human desire coming through.

But in my heart, I know this is more than that.

This is about trust.

• Do I trust God?
• Do I trust God even when what He asks me to do is painful, mundane and… boring?
• Do I trust Him enough to let go of my need for instant gratification?

When I look at the story of Ruth, found in the Bible. I see a woman who rejects instant gratification. In the first chapter of the story she says to her mother-in-law:

Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

Ruth 1: 16, NIV.

Here is a woman that chooses to trust God.

She chooses to journey with her mother-in-law (Naomi) to Bethlehem, not knowing what will happen. She does not pursue the instant, she pursues God’s ultimate plan.

She faces poverty as a widower and rejection as a foreigner. In chapter 2, she risks her safety in search of food.

Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.”

Ruth 1: 16, NIV.

Reading the text, I get the impression this was a scary thing to do. Further in the chapter a man named Boaz tells his workers to not “rebuke her.” (Ruth 2:16.) He instructs the men not to lay a hand on her, implying that was a real danger (Ruth 2:6.) 

Ruth even comments that she is surprised she has found such favour as she is a “foreigner” (Ruth 2: 10.)

Here she is, trusting God. Risking it all, not knowing where the next mean will come from, not knowing if she will be hurt. Yet, she trusts. 

She does not appear to give up.

She also doesn’t seem disappointed with her lot. She doesn’t seem angry at God, in contrast to her bitter mother-in-law. She does not seem disappointed with the path God has for her, even when it is so, so hard.

She doesn’t seem to be in it for a reward. She is in it because it is the right thing to do. Something in her knew that being with her mother-in-law and serving God was the right thing to do.

• How on earth do I get to that point?!
• How do I get to that place where I am doing what is right by God, not thinking about reward or blessing, just denying myself completely?
• How do I get to that point where I trust God, whatever, not because of what He can give us or do for us, but because of who He is?

I want to default to simple trust in Him.

Let’s go back to my situation yesterday: The reason I went to the Cathedral is because I wanted a rest, I wanted to be served in a cafe, I wanted something different from the mundane. I wanted instant gratification.

I got it for myself and did not trust God. 

Hear me out: I don’t think coffee shops and days out are unholy!

I do think that God is testing my trust.

He is not trying to trick me or trying to prove me wrong.

He is building my character.

God wants me to realise that if I do trust in Him, no matter what, I have everything.

Truly, everything.

I have all my heart desires, in Him.

God is testing my trust in Him because He knows that trusting in Him is the safest thing for me.

If I believe instant gratification can fill my heart’s desires, I am deceived and God does not want His daughter’s deceived. He wants them to be loved.

In the story of Ruth, our hero gets rewarded. Ruth finds favour in the eyes of Boaz, a guardian redeemer who provides her with food, safety and companionship.

But that is not the point, is it?

The point is that Ruth finds her reward in God. She trusts before she has a clue what will happen. She trusts, not even knowing if she will find favour with the people with the harvesters.

I believe that God is redeeming my trust. He is redeeming that broken part of my character that so often chooses to willfully ignore the Holy Spirit.

I think He is very faithful to do that, even though I have been messing up.

I need to believe that trusting in God will serve me, much more than instant gratification ever will.

And I need God’s help with that.

So, today I leave you with some thoughts:

• Do you trust God, even when that requires you to do stuff that is difficult, mundane and boring?
• Do you believe that relationship with God will serve you more than instant gratification ever will?
• Do you keep going, even when you do mess up, trusting that God will redeem those broken bits of your character?

My head knows that God is better than anything else, but my heart has some way to go in believing that fully.

So I will leave you with this verse as I meditate on it this week:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3: 5, NIV.