I feel like I am carrying an internal stopwatch at the moment.

Right now, it is 8.15am and this internal stopwatch is counting down until 9am when I have to get washed and dressed for church…

My thoughts are like: “Can I write a blog post in 45 minutes?” “Should I write a blog post in 45 minutes?” “Or should I do this thing, that thing or some other thing?”

Time is precious and my feelings tell me I don’t have enough of it.

Yesterday was full. In the space of 7 hours, my family dashed between… a flower market, a dolls house shop, a coffee shop, a friend’s house, a garage, a farm, a beach, a supermarket, our home…  

Why are we in a rush? What are we rushing for?

I am genuinely at a point in my life where I get angry if I waste time. If I watch a programme that was rubbish I get cross because I wish I had chosen to do something else instead.

If only time machines were readily available on Amazon…

In the midst of my anger and frustration about wasting time, I’ve found myself reading the bible. Specifically, Paul’s letter written to the church in Galatians.

In the letter of Galatians, Paul writes:

I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ.

Galatians 1: 11 – 12, NIV, my emphasis.

When I read this I felt Jesus speaking to me:

“Do you trust me more than your feelings?”

You see, my feelings tell me that I don’t have a lot of time. My feelings tell me that I am pulled in every direction and I am getting nothing right. My feelings tell me I have to do stuff and get stuff and create stuff.

But my bible tells me that the gospel is given to me by Jesus.

My bible tells me to simply receive from Jesus.

My bible reminds me that my faith is not based upon striving but, at its heart, is a one on one connection with Jesus.

Our relationship with Jesus is more important than any other thing; so letting Jesus reveal things to us is crucial.

The author of Galatians, Paul, came from a life of striving. He says:

I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers. But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being. 

Galatians 1: 14 – 16, NIV.

He was formerly a people pleaser, spending his time on traditions.

Yet, when Paul received Jesus, it wasn’t about pleasing people and spending his time on study or tradition. He didn’t tell anybody about his calling to preach.

Why? I think Paul is saying that his life became focused on his relationship with Jesus. The calling and the gospel were received within that relationship.

The solution to my time-wasting problem: Spend time with Jesus. Prioritize time with Jesus. Receive from Jesus, first.

That might mean that I drop the ball on other things.

That will mean going against strong feelings of: “I don’t have time,” or “I need to do x y and z.”

But faith is not about feeling. Sometimes faith is about doing what the word of God says, despite your feelings. The word of God says this:

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30, NIV.

I was reminded about another bible verse, earlier this week:

Jesus replied, “I tell you, if these [people] keep silent, the stones will cry out [in praise]!”

Luke 19:40, AMP.

The bible tells us we are to love and worship Jesus. If we keep silent the stones will cry out in praise.

Jesus is worthy of our time and our worship. If, like me, you are struggling with feeling like you just don’t have enough time, I encourage you to make time for worship.

This week I am going to get up at 6am every day and write out a bit of Galatians or sing a worship song.

The reason: If I don’t write or sing my brain and my feelings will remind me of every other thing I could be doing with that first portion of the day.

It is not about what I am doing, but it is about me taking a step towards my relationship with Jesus.

I know I’m in a fortunate position to do this; last year I had a new-born baby and couldn’t imagine getting up and writing out a couple of verses from scripture.

But wherever you are, whatever life stage you are in, just take a moment to ask God how you could prioritise loving Him this week.

Even if those strong feelings tell you that you don’t have time. Go against those feelings, with me. We are instructed to love Jesus; we can remind out feelings of that truth.

You’ll probably have to tell someone you are doing this, or set reminders left, right and centre.  

But, when we get there, it will be worth it.

Because, the truth is: We cannot waste a single moment of time in the presence of God.

Maybe, like me, it is time to repent from serving that internal stop-watch. If that is you, then remember God is pleased to welcome you back with open arms.

Maybe it is the first time you’ve ever sought Jesus above your schedule. And maybe the feelings of failure are already raging.

For those moments, I plan to feed myself with bible verses, like this one:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3: 5 – 6, NIV.

I’m hoping to report back next week with testimonies from a week of making Jesus the priority. Please add any feedback from times when you’ve done the same.