Lately, I have been in search of friendship.

It happens when I am sad. It happens when I am scared. It happens when I am feeling insecure… I search for friendship. I simply look for a “Best Friend,” everywhere I go.

In fact, I go on this search even though I am already blessed with many incredible and close friendships.

Sounds odd, but this is a self-sabotaging search.

For me it is a mental pathways that I would like to become hyper-aware of so that I can, in future, avoid going down it, ever again.

You see, if my brain thinks is in constant search of a friend, I give it permission to feed me a thousand reasons why someone would not want to be friends with me. Reasons like this:

“That person doesn’t like you because you think differently.

That person doesn’t like you because you are needy.

That person doesn’t like you because you talk too much.”

As a result, I feel lonely and become blind to what I do have because I am constantly looking for this unattainable thing that my brain calls: “Perfect Friend.”

You and I both know am looking for something I already have: Jesus.

Jesus is the best friend I will ever have.

I have a best friend in Him, as well as so many precious friends here in this life.

And so, I want to break this bad habit of friend shopping when things get rough.

I want to say goodbye to insecurity and, instead, enjoy my friendship with Jesus and with those people I love most here on earth.

To do this, I thought I’d have a look at Jesus’ friendships in the bible.

I want to know how Jesus does this friendship thing: What makes Him such a good pal?

I started in the gospel of John, simply because John refers to himself as the one “whom Jesus loved.” (See John 13:23 or John 19:26). I’ll list three discoveries in this blog post and then maybe carry on next week…

1. Jesus Knows You.

In John 1, we learn that Jesus knows His disciples inside out. Jesus comments on Nathanael, a man that becomes one of Jesus’ twelve close friends, saying:

“Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.”

John 1: 47, NIV.

Nathanael responds:

“How do you know me?” Nathanael asked.

John 1: 48, NIV.

Nathanael’s response shows he feels know. To be known is clearly a sign of friendship.

Our friends get to know us in a way that strangers don’t. Our close friends get insight that acquaintances don’t get access to.

To be known is a gift.

Do you believe that Jesus really knows you?

Knows your desires, knows your ways – good and bad – and knows what you had for tea every night this week!

There’s a verse in Luke’s gospel that says:

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Luke 12: 7, NIV.

2. Jesus Rescues You.

Next, in John 2, there is a story about a wedding party.

A wedding party with Jesus, his mother and His twelve closest buddies.

This must have been the wedding of someone Jesus’ loved, because all of his inner circle were invited along.

Jesus is at this party and the event is about to run out of wine.

I have read many commentaries saying that running out of wine would have been considered shameful for the bridegroom and his family.

Yet, Jesus steps in.

He turns water into wine. Not just any wine, but the best wine.

The story reads:

The master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

John 2: 9 – 10, NIV.

The fact that Jesus saves “the best till now” is counter cultural.

He steps in to help his bridegroom friend at the right moment. He makes the bridegroom look worthy in the eyes of the master of the banquet at a time in which He could have looked shameful.

Friends do that. They make us look good.

Friends “save your bacon.” In other words; they rescue you.

• I think of the friend that messaged me when I was in a bad place mentally, whilst at university.
• I think of the friend that showed love to me by paying off a debt I owed.
• I think of the friend that reads my blogs and sends them to her friends. My number one fan!

These people don’t have to love me the way they do.

Jesus doesn’t have to love you and I the way he does.

Yet, He rushes in at the right moment and rescues us. He rescues us from shame and insecurity, time and time again.

How has Jesus rescued you this week?

Can you look back and recognise the moments where He showed up just in the nick of time? Don’t rush past those. Sit with them, a second and watch your appreciation for His friendship grow.

3. Jesus Gives All to You.

In John 2, Jesus honours his friend by providing a miracle. He gives the best wine at the wedding; giving His bridegroom friend great respect instead of shame.

When I Googled what the word “honour” meant, I was struck by the definition: “Great esteem.”

Here is the thing: I think our modern-day culture would say that I need to work on my self-esteem. People often use the phrase: “Give yourself credit.”

Yet, what strikes me as true is this: Jesus is the one who gives us great esteem.

We can’t actually give honour to ourselves. Jesus is the one who gives it, even though we don’t deserve it.

He gives us a lot.

In John 3, Jesus tells his friend, Nicodemus:

 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. 

John 3: 16 – 18, NIV.

God gave His only son so that you and I could be free from condemnation.

Jesus gives us honour, freedom and salvation, to name but a few things.

Jesus gives a fresh start, a new way of life.

Let’s get real: Jesus gives his whole self. Every part of who He is; Jesus gives to you.

I, for one, am so caught up in selfishness that I forget that mind-boggling servant-heartedness is at the core of true friendship.

But let us not forget that Jesus is the one who lays His whole life down for you.

Will you accept those gifts that He gives?

• Will you accept the honour He bestows on you when you feel unworthy?
• Will you accept the love He gives when you feel afraid?
• Will you accept His forgiveness when you have really messed up?

If I am honest, I am struggling to accept these things He gives. But this is what makes Him the best friend I have been searching for.

Final Thoughts

At the start of this blog post I told you about my search for a friend.

I give my brain permission to look for what it already has.

Maybe you have been scanning the world, looking for something that you already have in Jesus.

Today, I hope you feel encouraged by the truth that you are already fully known by Jesus, right down to the number of hairs on your head.

I hope you notice those moments in which Jesus rescues you and makes you look good.

I really hope that you accept Him; all that he is and all that he gives to you.

Because He is the only one that can lift you from a pit of despair and gift you with salvation and a new way to live.