One evening this week, a trusted pastor and friend came to my house spoke words of encouragement to me.

Literally, he spent around an hour saying good things about who I was called to be and how I can grow in my gifts.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel seen and encouraged for who you are?

Thing is: Encouragement like that doesn’t grow on trees. You have to be intentional about giving it and receiving it.

My response to my pastor’s encouragement was interesting.

Sometimes when a person reminds you who God created you to be, you realise that you are missing the mark, a little. Not in a condemning way, but in a challenging way.

For me, my pastor reminded me that I was created to bring God’s kindness to other people. To make people feel seen, to tell them what God thinks of them and to prepare them for what’s coming.

All of this is great. But it made me realise that some of the things I was currently doing were… selfish.

In some areas of my life, my motives were selfish. And I was reminded of this bible verse:

Unless the Lord builds the house,

Those who build it labour in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

The watchman stays awake in vain.

Psalm 127: 1, ESV.

I felt challenged that I was not letting God build certain things in my life, rather I was doing one of two things out of selfishness.

In the bible story about Esther, there is a man, named Haman, who chooses to act out of selfishness.

Haman is asked a question by his king:

When Haman entered, the king asked him, “What should be done for the man the king delights to honour?”

Now Haman thought to himself, “Who is there that the king would rather honour than me?”

Esther 6:6, NIV.

Haman thinks the king is looking to honour him. So he responds to the king’s question with a list of glorious things that he wishes would be done for him. Haman is selfish in his response.

The king then orders Haman to do all of those glorious things suggested.

In fact, the king instructs Haman to do all of those glorious things for his worst enemy: Mordecai the Jew:

“Go at once,” the king commanded Haman. “Get the robe and the horse and do just as you have suggested for Mordecai the Jew, who sits at the king’s gate. Do not neglect anything you have recommended.”

Esther 6:10, NIV.

What’s God’s message to us here: Don’t hesitate to do for others as you would have them do for you.

Here is a bible verse that we ought to live by:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2: 3-4, NIV.

It is easy to read the above and think: “Oh, that’s a lovely principle.”

(Even people who don’t believe in Jesus might think that is a lovely principle.)

It’s hard to put action to that biblical instruction.

Maybe today we could ask ourselves:

“What should be done today for the one the king delights to honour?”

In other words, we could ask ourselves:

What could I do for my mum/ my daughter/ my friend/ my spouse/ the homeless one outside my workplace/ the postman / my neighbour, simply because our King Jesus delights in honouring them?

To answer this question, I have created four practical steps for us to take:

1. Repent.

If we have been selfish God is faithful and just to forgive us.

We need to accept that we’ve done wrong, tell God and then accept his mercy.

Remember: He adores us and loves it when we talk to Him.

I read a kids book this week about prayer and, honestly, I was crying by the final page.

“Someday, Jesus will return, and his friends will live with God in his perfect and beautiful world – FOREVER. We’ll talk with God face to face.”

Any Time, Any Place, Any Prayer by Laura Wilfer.

In other words: one day we will be face to face with Him and none of the pain and messiness will be there. It will be simple and holy.

It reminded me that what God truly desires is to to talk to us. Relationship with you and me is God’s number 1 priority. He loves us.

If you’ve messed up, please go to Him so that he can take pain and messiness away from you now. Only God can forgive sins and make a way for you. He is ready to hear from you.

2. Write a list of good things you would like to be done for you.

Some of us need to do a Haman.

We need to write a list of things that really bless us.

• Like when my pastor gave me words of encouragement. I felt seen.
• Like when my friend sent me a bouquet of flowers on my daughter’s first birthday; such a practical encouragement after my first year as a parent. I felt seen.
• Like when another friend left a piece of cake on my door when I was pregnant in lockdown. I felt seen.

List those random acts of kindness that make you feel seen. Maybe do this in the notes on your phone so you can keep adding to the list.

3. Pray about who to do good things for.

A lovely friend sat across the dinner table from me last night and said something to the effect of:

“You and your husband always talk about hearing from God.”

I was thinking this morning: I only have God-stories when I make space to listen to Him.

Last week, I felt God tell me to go to a certain coffee shop that I had never been to before. I went and saw two people that I completed a training year with in 2014. I was able to offer friendship to one of those ladies, as she told me that she had just moved to Liverpool. I sent her details of my church and reached out to her.

Might not seem ground-breaking. But this is the kind of thing God is asking us to do.

Question is: Will we make space to listen to Him, or not?

In contrast, this week I felt God tell me to work from a certain coffee shop but I did not go to that one because I was impatient and thought I knew better. As a result I am in a cold coffee shop where the card machine isn’t working this morning!

My point: Make space to listen to God.

Has he put a place or a person on your heart? Go to those people.

God usually puts places on my heart and I am to bless people when I get there!

4. Take action.

At this point you have a list of good stuff and a few names or places. Now it’s time to actually take action.

GO!

Go and do for others as you would have them do for you.

Treat them with honour.

I know you’ve got a lot on this week… haven’t we all?

We become hard-hearted and selfish when we worry about our to-do list rather than think of other people.

To summarize…

Follow the above four steps this week.

You can absolutely do it.

You can treat others as you would like to be treated. Don’t let an empty purse or a busy diary stop you.

In return, I believe you will have a bunch of God stories to share.

Listen: I would love to hear some in the comments below. Please share how you reached out and encouraged another soul this week.

This stuff matters more than we think it does.