I have a problem.

My problem has a name: self-criticism.

If there’s something going wrong in my life, I blame myself. I allow thoughts to creep into my brain that say: “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not doing it right,” and “I need to try harder.”

Last weekend, I had an unexpected morning to myself.

I thought I should probably use the unexpected morning to pray. There was a lot on my mind.

So, I sat on my gym ball and began listing all the ways that I felt I was failing…

After my self-critical list was over, I (eventually) asked God what he thought! I believe He spoke this to my heart:

“You don’t get to be hard on yourself. You get my grace and my help.

When you make genuine mistakes; I forgive you.

When you don’t know what to do; I give.

But don’t sit there. Don’t sit in the place of being hard on yourself when you know full well I have set you free.”

Here’s the thing: When Jesus died on the cross, He took all of the punishment I deserved for my sin. All of it.

That means: I don’t get His permission to punish myself with self-criticism. It’s not what God wants for me.

The bible says this:

 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23, ESV.

Who is this God I serve? He is the God who took away the payment of death that my sin deserved. He is the God that instead gives me a free gift of eternal life, in Jesus.

I have a choice everyday whether to live the life Jesus gives me, or wallow in things that only bring about sorrow and shame. Things that don’t go anywhere; things that are dead-end.

Another verse in the bible reads:

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

Hosea 6:6, NIV.

God desires mercy.

It has always been God’s heart to set us free from the things that trap us and hold us back from truly living.

It matters more to Him that we acknowledge His mercy, rather than trying to earn our own freedom, whether through sacrifice or punishment.

And, yeah, His freedom doesn’t mean that you and I don’t ever struggle.

It just means we can hold onto hope and take steps to overcome our struggles – However little or large those steps may be.

Maybe today you could ask yourself this question: Am I living like I’m free? Like, really free?

If not: What baby steps can I take towards freedom today?

Last week, God showed me that I was holding onto self-criticism – something His mercy had set me free from.

In His mercy, you have also been set free. I pray that you would take steps towards that freedom today.