I am in the early years of parenting, marked by sleepless nights and non-stop days.

Throughout these days, I am challenged by seemingly small things.

I am challenged to not clean up, as much as I used to. I am challenged to not spend money, though I want to. I am extremely challenged to not to eat chocolate for lunch, despite no one watching…

Putting it simply: I am daily challenged to let go of expectations and standards, which I once held myself to.

At the moment, there is nothing that I would love more than having a daily journal time with God. I’d also love a weekly writing time that is not repeatedly knocked off the calendar, due to sleepless babes.

Actually, while we are at it, I would really like to clean my house – like properly clean it and declutter. I’d like to have my hair cut, my nails done and I’d really appreciate it if my eyebrows were tidied every few weeks…

Here’s what I am trying to say: I would love to have set-in-stone rhythms; routine in which I can relax, be creative and get on top of things that make me uncomfortable.

I know that God is working in me through this season, I know that He meets me right where I am at –soothing an overtired baby, cooking for a hungry toddler, mopping accidents from the floor and setting boundaries. In all of it – He is with me.

Yet, I still want the comfort that control brings.

I don’t like the fact that I can’t even go to Tesco without some unpredictable toddler or baby meltdown scene playing out… Last week, my daughter was stuck at the bottom of a travellator in Tesco. Yesterday… I took my toddler to the park and a gust of wind blew a pair of her not-so-clean underpants across a rainy field… You cannot make this stuff up!

There’s a short story in the bible about two women – Martha and Mary. It reads:

 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10: 38 – 42, NIV.

I resonate with Martha. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt angry that I am left “to do the work by myself”.

Recently, I’ve been feeling envious that my husband gets 40 minutes in the car to work – time in which he is totally alone with God! What a treat!

I’ve also been envious that he gets more sleep than I do. I find myself feeding in the wee hours feeling frustrated that I am left to do the work of mothering myself!

Yet, I find it interesting that the bible uses the word ‘distracted’ to explain Martha’s circumstances: “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”

She was distracted, yet it reads that those preparations: “Had to be made”.

When things have to be done, I don’t always see myself as “distracted”. Instead, I see myself as “focused”.

Focused on the night feeds and the messy house. Things that need to be done.

But God sees things differently to me.

There is only one thing I should be setting my gaze on: Jesus.

And if I am not focused on Him, I am distracted.

It’s that simple.

Maybe it is time for me to be thankful for those moments in which my kids unsettle my comfortable, “focused” plans.

I wonder if God wants me to stop and praise Him when I am flustered, envious and silently plotting my next attempt of cleaning the bathroom…

***

Going back to the bible story about Martha and Mary. Mary’s stance is this: “Sat at the Lord’s feet”.

Oh to be Mary and to be able to just… sit!

But this isn’t a story about sitting. Not really. The point is: Mary had a choice.

Jesus says: “Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away.”

We have so many daily choices, but are we actually turning to God with each, tiny choice?

Today, I went to a cheap and popular bakery! I asked the lady behind the till for a sausage roll and a chocolate star-shaped biscuit. She handed me the baked goods. I tapped my contactless bank card on the payment reader. It beeped so I grabbed my stuff and left the shop… assuming the beep meant that the payment had gone through…

Half an hour later I realised the payment hadn’t got through. By which point my daughter was demolishing her “free” lunch, with great delight!

I was instantly annoyed because I knew I’d have to go back and pay for the goods.

I couldn’t simply enjoy a free-but-kinda-stolen lunch.

Why? Because God was with me and my heart was unsettled inside of me.

God was with me as I queued up again at the bakery He was with me as I explained to the cashier she hadn’t actually charged me. He saw my heart grumble when I was not awarded some sort of integrity award by the manager!

In that small, frustrating moment I was able to choose to lay my life down to Jesus. I didn’t physically sit down, as Mary did. But I did what Jesus would do in my situation, even though I was tired, didn’t want to queue and would have certainly benefitted from the blessing of a free lunch!

The Martha and Mary story is not about an unrealistic expectation to sit still for an hour. It’s about choosing God in tiny, unseen moments. It’s about choosing God before everything, even things that might be necessary like cooking tea and settling kids at night.

You and I will have really brilliant days when we learn to thank God for letting us not stay distracted.

When we accept that anything and everything apart from Jesus is simply a distraction, things will get easier for us.

And so as I learn to turn my daily wrestle for control over to a merciful God, I would like to ask you: What is distracting you, this week? What seemingly small things are you challenged to give up before God?

Praying that God would set you free from any distractions that you have been holding onto, so that you can find joy in focusing on Jesus, in your day-to-day life. Honestly, I want things to get easier for you too.