My bible has found a new home… in our bathroom.

Yes, balanced on top of my daughter’s bath toy and my husband’s razor, that’s where my bible has made its new nest.

What about my new desk? That’s the piece of square carpet just outside the bathroom and bedroom doors. Our ‘landing’. Less than a metre squared, it is currently my prayer cushion and my bible-reading spot.

Why? Because every other room is taken. If I want a spot to myself, I gotta go where there isn’t a baby sleeping… or a husband working!

I’m telling you this because I realised something less than an hour ago… this life looks different for each one of us.

We may be going through similar things – maybe you are in the stay-at-home mum club (hang on in there!), or maybe you have a baby the same age as my youngest – nevertheless our situations are not exactly the same. Which means each one of us should be asking the Holy Spirit: “What does this season look like, for me?”

The thing is, I get caught in comparison and insecurity a lot. When things are stressful, I look around and think: ‘That mum can do it, why can’t I?’ ‘What is she doing that I am not?’

But here is the thing: she is supposed to be doing things that I am not. And I am not supposed to copy her. Instead, I can go to the Holy Spirit. The helper that Jesus gave me. I am able to have a chat with Him who knows every thought I have; every word before I have it on my tongue. He can properly guide me through my situation – because He knows my unique situation better than I do!

Even if you’ve been told something that sounds Godly, check it with God himself.

I felt God lead me to be a stay-at-home mum and I haven’t always been feeling rest, fulfilment and peace I have a sneaky suspicion that is because being a stay-at-home mum is only part of my calling and the other part is this. Writing. And writing is what I have been neglecting even though this is one thing that truly brings me joy. God told me to do this. He keeps telling me to ‘write it out, write all of the details out’ – even if just for my own records, my own faith, my own sanity.

So, I am here today, just wanting to ask you: how does life look for you? What is it about your life that’s unique? Are you doing things your own, God-destined, way?

When I think of someone in the bible that did things their own way I think of that woman with the issue of blood in Luke 8. The paraphrase goes like this:

On his return, Jesus was welcomed by a crowd. They were all there expecting him. A man came up, Jairus by name. He was president of the meeting place. He fell at Jesus’ feet and begged him to come to his home because his twelve-year-old daughter, his only child, was dying. Jesus went with him, making his way through the pushing, jostling crowd.

In the crowd that day there was a woman who for twelve years had been afflicted with hemorrhages. She had spent every penny she had on doctors but not one had been able to help her. She slipped in from behind and touched the edge of Jesus’ robe. At that very moment her hemorrhaging stopped. Jesus said, “Who touched me?”

Luke 8:40-46, MSG.

Firstly, this woman had spent her money on doctors – she’d done what others do. It didn’t work. Sometimes mimicking others can help us learn, but ultimately copying one another doesn’t require us to each, individually go to the Holy Spirit and seek Him for our unique path and purpose.

Secondly, the woman with the issue of blood was ill for twelve years and there were rules about what she should be doing in her condition – she wasn’t supposed to leave the house! But she went against those rules and left the house anyway – she took a risk. She had faith in Jesus – I imagine her heart burning inside of her chest, her head thinking: ‘This is what I am meant to do’.She was healed immediately. I believe that following that burning, ‘this-is-what-I-am-meant-to-do,’ faith in Jesus will always lead you to healing.

The story goes on:

When no one stepped forward, Peter said, “But Master, we’ve got crowds of people on our hands. Dozens have touched you.”

Jesus insisted, “Someone touched me. I felt power discharging from me.”

When the woman realized that she couldn’t remain hidden, she knelt trembling before him. In front of all the people, she blurted out her story—why she touched him and how at that same moment she was healed.

Jesus said, “Daughter, you took a risk trusting me, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed!”

Luke 8:45-48, MSG.

The woman could hide no longer. She realised that she couldn’t stay hidden when Jesus called her out. Jesus let her share her story. She isn’t a noteworthy person like Jarius, who was president of the meeting place. She has a different story, but Jesus validates it all the same.

You and I can’t hide any longer. Just like the woman Jesus is asking us to share our story and it’s our choice to step into the light or hide among the crowd.

Conclusion

Ultimately, it’s about a heart-check. Are you chatting to the Holy Spirit, are you letting Him lead you… truly? Here are some questions I am asking myself:

• What are you doing just because others are doing it too?
• Where is your faith? Do you feel like you are called to something, somewhere? That God will meet you there?
• Do you feel like you can’t hide any longer? Like you can’t keep it up because it’s effort? It’s time to be you and own your story.

As I perch with backache, typing quietly so as not to wake the kids, I recognize that my life needs to change. This set up doesn’t allow for me to live my full purpose and write in the way I want to write.

I don’t know what’s next for me… and I don’t know what is next for you either. But I am praying that we will both chase after the God-given things that make us feel alive.