Jesus has been asking me to believe again.

“Believe again.“

I think this is a message for each one of us, right now.

Some of us are feeling battered and bruised, after a year of isolation.

Heartbreak, loss and disappointment aren’t too far from our memories.

And – I don’t want to add to that disappointment – but I think we are at a point in history where things will never be the same again…

Yet, I don’t think God is asking us to go back to our pre-pandemic lives. I think He is stirring up something new for us to step into.

I think of this verse:

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19, NIV.

Here is the thing: if He is doing a new thing why is Jesus asking us to believe again? Why not: believe anew? Or believe for something different?

What I am trying to say is, though we are being called to something new, we must go back to believing in Jesus again, in order to grasp that new thing.

Believing again doesn’t look like putting your faith in an outcome. It looks like picking yourself up and following the same old Jesus into the new adventures.

It’s not like buying a lottery ticket whereby you put your hope in a new lottery ticket, thinking: “maybe this time, I’ll win the jackpot…”

No, that would be believing anew. Believing in a new ticket, a new outcome.

But, Jesus. He’s not new. He is the same today, yesterday and forever, (Hebrews 13:8.)

He is doing something new.

And so, in this blog post, I have three things Jesus has shown me about preparing yourself to receive something new from the same old God!

1. “What do you wish?”

In Matthew 20, there is a story about a mother’s request. Here’s how the story begins:

Then [Salome] the mother of Zebedee’s children [James and John] came up to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down [in respect], asked a favour of Him. And He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered Him, “Command that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine may sit [in positions of honour and authority] one on Your right and one on Your left.”

Matthew 20: 20 – 21, AMP, my emphasis.

I love how Jesus always asks questions. He knows full well what this mother is about to ask but He is so patient and asks her a question that cuts to the heart of any situation:

“What do you wish?”

Here’s the mother’s answer: she wants her son’s to get the best seats possible in heaven.

Now, Salome clearly has an understanding that Jesus is greater than herself, or her sons, because the verse tells us that she approaches Jesus with respect and doesn’t ask that her boys take Jesus’ spot on the throne.

Yet, this mother wants what she believes to be best for her sons. She doesn’t ask Jesus what He thinks is best; she dives right in with her wish.

And so, I want to know: What do you wish?

Because, if you are going to believe in Jesus again, you have to get real with where you are currently at.

Believing again begins with honesty.

It begins with a journal, a pen and your no-nonsense, no-frills answer.

So, stop and answer that question: What do you wish?

2. “Do you realize what you are asking for?“

Jesus responds to Salome’s wish, like this:

But Jesus replied, “You do not realize what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup [of suffering] that I am about to drink?” They answered, “We are able.” He said to them, “You will drink My cup [of suffering]; but to sit on My right and on My left this is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by My Father.”

Matthew 20: 22 – 23, AMP.

I don’t know much about Salome. But I know a little bit about wanting the best for your kids. Personally, I pray that my daughter would be safe, every night.

I pray: “Just protect her, God.” What I mean is: “Keep her away from harm and suffering and all heartbreak!”

Then, I realise – some of the disciples were persecuted and killed for their faith… Do I want my daughter to be safe in my comfortable way, or do I want her to be obedient to God? Do I accept that His version of safety is in His arms – not the soft and cosy kind of safety I am praying for?

Just like Salome, I don’t always realise what I am asking for.

Look at the wish-list you made, after reading step 1 of this blog post.

I wonder: do you realize what you are asking for?

Are you asking Jesus to go back to yester-year? Are you asking Jesus for a specific “your-way” miracle?

Because, I think you and I need to realise that there is a difference between what we want and what is truly best for us.

So, next step, take your wish list and ask: Why do I want these things?

Drill down, keep asking: WHY!

When I did this, I realised that – like Salome – I wanted safety for me and for my family. I wanted freedom from pain. I wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t suffer.

(And – if I am honest – some of my answers showed that I also wanted to look good, in front of others!)

The more I wrote about what I was wishing for, the more I realised the presence of fear and pride in me. I became aware of my humanity and my brokenness.

I was able to then say to Jesus: “I am a bit of a mess. I don’t have everything together. Clearly, I need… you.”

3. “What Does Jesus want for you?“

Here’s how the mother’s request in Matthew 20 pans out:

And when the [other] ten (disciples) heard this, they were resentful and angry with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles have absolute power and lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them [tyrannizing them]. It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your [willing and humble] slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many [paying the price to set them free from the penalty of sin].”

Matthew 20: 24 – 28, AMP, my curved brackets and emphasis.

At first response, the other ten disciples don’t seem to be listening to Jesus. Instead, they are resentful and angry at the two brothers, because they didn’t see the heart behind their issues. All they can see is: you are going to get a better deal, than we are. You’ve sold us out for a better spot in the kingdom…

What does Jesus do with that brokenness? He leads by love. He offers a new perspective.

Jesus is the one that chose to die for this arguing, dysfunctional bunch! In the midst of their arguing He tells His disciples: “[I] did not come to be served, but to serve…”

He is the one that has pity on us.

He is the miracle worker.

His is the upside down kingdom.

When we see through His eyes we are able to love others as he does. To serve as he does.

Sometimes we think that we can’t go to Jesus with our mess because we are Christians and we should have our ducks in a row.

But here is a bible story a follower of Jesus and her sons; messy and wanting for things they doesn’t actually need. Jesus doesn’t disown this women and her boys.

Equally, He doesn’t leave them in her brokenness. He makes them aware that they need His perspective.

He tells them: “Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your [willing and humble] slave.”

I think He is saying: “I want you to be great too, boys. But here’s how you really become great… get away from that brokenness I see in you.”

Listen: Jesus doesn’t dislike you. He just doesn’t want to leave you in brokenness.

You and I need His perspective. We need to see His heart.

If we are to believe again, we need to see what He sees.

First, we need to be honest with ourselves, second, be honest with Jesus and then, third, trust that He knows what is truly best for us. Realign our vision to see His picture of greatness.

And, so, we could resolve this process by asking Jesus: What do you want for me?

I heard Jesus tell me He just wants me to enjoy His rest today. Believing again quite literally looks like me chilling out and trusting Him today. I wonder: what will it look like for you, right now?

Conclusion: Believing Again Looks Like Something

If you are anything like me, you hear the words “believe again” and you instantly think of a prayer that didn’t come to fruition in the way you expected. How can you believe that it will happen, this time? Do you pray harder? Shout louder?

No, believing again isn’t about making the same requests, but louder.

Believing again looks like coming to Jesus again. Just as we are, with all our broken questions and wishes. In reading Matthew 20, it seems clear to me that, in order to believe again, we need to do three things:

• We need to learn that sometimes, our brokenness can get in the way of truly believing in Jesus, again.
• We need to look to Jesus and believe He is ever present and leading, through our mess.
• We need to listen when He tells us what greatness looks like, even if the ‘new’ isn’t what we expect.

I’m praying that you’ll step into new things this week, by going to the same old Jesus!