I had a plan to relax.

I was going to put my daughter down for her nap and then go into my room, out my earplugs in and relax.

But, it was one of those plans that didn’t go to plan!

Why?

Because I couldn’t get comfortable. I’ve been trying not to slouch and have been practising good posture in this last trimester of my pregnancy. But sitting upright and relaxing seemed to prove quite tricky indeed.

Because my headphones made the track I was listening to all fuzzy. If there is one thing I lose more than anything, it is headphones. These cheap plastic white ones were ruining all chances of a nice, relaxing moment.

Because I knew that I hadn’t done anything to prep dinner. And I felt like taking 20 minutes to myself would result in no dinner on the table.

Because I got a text message! And instead of just switching of, I read and then replied, not wanting any more ‘to-dos’ on my list…

I gave up. Aborted my relaxation plan and started chopping veggies…

But, before I did, I felt in my spirit that these plans of mine were the problem.

I frequently set up plans and goals to spur myself forward. I like achieving. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being motivated by achievement – it is how God created me.

Yet, my plans are not the thing that I should be drawing my strength from. It’s not my plans that I should be seeking. I don’t exist to perform and to tick boxes on a to-do list.

It’s God that should be priority, for me. God, the one who holds all good plans.

If you can relate to my above story, if you feel anxious and lost today, there are four things that I want to give you today. I felt Holy Spirit whisper four sentences to my heart this morning and I want to offer you these words, in the hope that God will melt some of your stress away.

1. “You can tell me when you are nervous.”

I should probably tell you why I was trying to relax with my earplugs in. I am about 9 weeks away from giving birth to a baby girl, for the second time. My first birth involved a long and traumatic labour. So – in preparation for this birth – I felt God lead me to great therapy, a wise midwife and some key health changes including regular rest and meditation, more exercise, less sugar and good posture practice.

There’s nothing wrong with those things. But sometimes I let those things slip into striving. Without noticing, it becomes about what I am doing to prepare for labour rather than what God is doing to prepare me for labour.

This morning, God whispered: “You can tell me when you are nervous.”

It totally caught me off-guard. I have been telling everyone that I am feeling positive about this birth and I have been believing for God to continue leading me through this. But somewhere in the past couple of weeks, I think I took the tools that God gave me and turned them into “a list of things I can do to please God.”

Have you ever done that?

Have you ever taken what God gave you and turned it into an idol?

Today, I just feel God wants to remind us that He is the one we can be totally human with. He is Jesus, the one who was fully man and fully God. We can be teary and snotty and nervous and tell Him that it is so.

2. “You need to know that my love is not dependant on your faith.”

What do you think ‘being brave’ looks like?

For me, being brave looks like someone stepping out in faith, or taking a risk for the right reasons, against all odds. There is a Disney film called “Brave” in which the main character, Merida, speaks out against an old, family tradition. She dares to go against the grain and be the type of woman she is, rather than the type of woman her family expect her to be. That’s a brave move!

Yet, it’s not our brave moves that cause God to love us. God loves us because He is love. Because He can’t help but love us.

Faith is a real relationship with God. It is growing closer to Him, believing Him at His word. The closer we get to God, the more we will do faith-filled things. Things that maybe seem brave to others. When faith is alive it grows and you can physically see its evidence.

But faith begins by believing that God is love. By believing that He wants a relationship with you, above all else. You are the apple of His eye. You are created by Him; lovingly made.

I wonder if the bravest thing you and I can do today is simply believe that God loves us. Even if we mess up, even if we are scared and even if we are having a really bad day.

He’s excited about you, crazy about you, besotted by you and He loves how you make Him smile.

3. “Pride is denying yourself of me.”

Eugh. Pride.

We are prideful when we think that we can live without Him. When we act like we don’t need the one who put His very breath in our bodies, we fool ourselves.

Some of us just need to say “sorry God” for trying to do things, without God at the centre.

God will bring to light areas that you thought were pleasing to God, but are really just pride in disguise. For me, I have had a few days this week where I just feel so stressed by tiny, meaningless tasks. I deny myself of enjoying the day God made for me. I deny myself of accepting whatever it is that He is doing for me on that day. All these little moments of pride add up. And they push me further from all that God is.

4. “Receive what I give you today.”

As someone who is very used to striving, I find it really hard to receive. I can’t even pretend to give you advice on how to receive something well! Honestly, I am a giver! I like to put presents together and throw a good party for others to enjoy.

But God told me to receive what He gives me today. That means, He is giving me something and I have a choice whether to accept it, with thanks, or reject it, with ignorance.

How often do you thank God for all He’s given you?

How often do you stop for a moment and just savour all that you have?

It’s a practice that I don’t do often. I run from pillar to post and tend to get cross about the state of my living room on a daily basis… rather than thanking God that I have a living room. And a house.

I wonder if we need to thank God out loud for stuff. Open our voices and praise, even when we feel self-conscious. We need to physically speak and tell our souls to receive from God.

So, what’s your next plan?

Do you have a plan to create something today?

Do you have a plan to achieve an important task?

Do you have a plan to accomplish housework?

Whatever plans are running through your mind, I pray that God would be your number one priority. That you would tell Him what’s on your mind, stop trying to perform for Him, repent from pride and receive all He wants to bless you with.

The bible says:

So above all, constantly chase after the realm of God’s kingdom and the righteousness that proceeds from him. Then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly.

Matthew 6:33, TPT.

Above all… are you chasing after God? Are you going after relationship with Him?

God is the important one and all the non-important stuff falls into place when we truly focus on Him.

My prayer for you today is that anything that is blocking you from seeking God, above all else, would come crumbling down! I do pray that your heart would be foremost chasing God instead of plans…