I decided to follow Jesus in 2013.

In the months that followed, I graduated from the University of Liverpool with a degree in English Literature and Language.

Instead of following a traditional post-graduate route and seeking a career – or an exotic gap year – I decided to enroll for a ‘Discipleship Year’ in my local church. Sounds fancy, but it was basically one year of learning more about Jesus and volunteering to help the church in any way possible. Whether making meals for hungry students, or applying face masks with a Friday night youth club!

During that year, it was compulsory to be a steward at a Christian leader’s conference held in Harrogate. My team and I wore blue T-shirts, handed out leaflets and basically did whatever random task was required of us! In return, we were allowed to attend some conference sessions.

Picture this: 22 year old me in a bright blue top. I was a new Christian. Only knew a handful of people at this conference. Shy. Mind felt a bit of a mess…

Next thing I knew I was standing on stage with a microphone in my hand… the speaker had asked me to give a “prophetic word.”

I wasn’t prepared. I had one word come to my mind – that was it. I babbled into a microphone. Unfortunately, I babbled on for more than the one word I had… tried to make it a bit “fancier” I guess…

My prayer was all over the place – I was breaking all sorts of things that didn’t need to be broken, “in Jesus name!”

I was so embarrassed… yet, at the same time, I felt more confident than I did prior to going on that stage. I felt more alive… delighted that God had used me to deliver one simple word. Encouraged that He really was with me… Honestly I felt more “me”!

The thing is, even though I knew I’d made a few mistakes on that stage, I had dared to speak the one word that the Holy Spirit had put on my heart. In giving that one little word, I had been obedient to God. I was led by His Holy Spirit to share something, and I did.

This week, I have been thinking about life in the spirit.

When you and I received Jesus’ salvation, we were transformed from a natural person into a spiritual person. The bible says we were “born again.”

Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘Youmust be born again.’ The windblows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

John 3: 5-8, ESV.

To be born of the spirit means that we become spiritual people – we become connected with God.

Because Jesus died on a cross for our sins, we have access to a personal relationship with God who speaks to us and guides us, by His amazing spirit.

The Holy Spirit isn’t a rule book or a set of instructions. It is a person. The bible says:

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.

Romans 8:11, NLT.

To follow Him, I have to have a relationship with Him, just as I would a friend.

Here’s the problem – even though I am born again, I can still choose to ignore the Holy Spirit. I could ignore the Holy Spirit every day, if I wanted to.

And, if I am honest, I think I have been ignoring the Holy Spirit, lately. The bible says:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Galatians 5:22, ESV.

I know for a fact that I am irritable and envious, rather than full of joy and peace. And I know I haven’t daily come before God and confessed all of my jealously and bitterness.

I also know that I have been striving again, trying to control my own life rather than letting God do the leading.

And so, I am sat here writing today, because I want to remind myself that life isn’t for fretting. Life isn’t for striving.

• Life in the spirit is about stepping out, as I did on that conference stage.
• Life in the spirit is about trusting that God Himself created me and He will lead me to become the person He created me to be.
• Life in the spirit is about forgiveness – acknowledging when I make a mistake, but also accepting that God paid the price for all of my mistakes. I don’t have to earn my way back into His acceptance or grace.

If you are a Christian reading this, I want to encourage you to remind yourself – what happened the last time you listened to the Holy Spirit and then stepped out in faith?

• In other words, what happened the last time you really listened to that deep niggle in your core?
• How did you feel the last time you followed that tug in your heart and gave that homeless person a sandwich?
• Where did God lead you the last time you felt a little pull towards a specific bible verse or song?
• What did it feel like sharing that prophetic word with a total stranger?
• What happened when you shared that prophetic word, which popped in your head, while you were at church?

And if you are not a Christian, I have another story about the Holy Spirit to share…

This time, picture 20 year old me, in a navy blue knitted jumper. I am feeling hopeless. I think everyone hates me. I am not sure who my friends are and if they really like me. I don’t know if I am going to pass my University degree. I’ve been physically unwell for months.

Picture me and my knitwear, in a school hall.

Tiered steps pointing towards a stage, on which a preacher stands.

That preacher talks about Jesus – a man who died a brutal death to take away all which kept me broken. Fully human, fully God, He was risen from death so that I could have access to a wholeness in Him. Wholeness in the form of an eternal life with Him sounds interesting to me, could I really be healed from so much emotional pain?

Picture me in my knitwear listening to this preacher; feeling a niggle in my soul as I hear about this Jesus.

Look at the stage for a second – a small band starts to play musical instruments. A singer rejoices in the fact that they are also saved by this man named Jesus.

That niggle in me is like a burning in my heart. I want to cry.

But tears don’t roll down my face – instead, they roll down my mum’s face, as she stands next to me. Mum has no idea why she is crying!

A hand taps me on the shoulder and a woman starts talking. Says she envisioned a picture of an iron with a creased up tie strewn across the ironing board. She comments: “God is speaking to you, He wants to iron your life out.”

That niggle becomes almost too much to contain.

Do I respond to this niggle, even if I look silly? Even though it means my whole life will change?

Or do I ignore the fact that I am wondering whether Jesus is real?

Because – with the Holy Spirit – there is always a choice.

A choice to say “yes” and a choice to say “no.” God will never force Himself upon you. But He will wait patiently, even when you choose another route that He never planned for you to take.

My encouragement is this – following that knitwear day I decided to follow Jesus. I decided to accept that He died to offer me a way out of my broken mess.

Just like when I spoke on stage at that conference, my “yes” was a bit awkward. My life was still hard in parts and I still made a few mistakes. But on that blue knitwear day, something in me woke up. And I want to excite you – if you choose to follow the Holy Spirit’s niggles today, something in you will wake up…

This day doesn’t have to be another boring one… This day is a fresh opportunity to be spirit-led and awakened with wonder.

This day doesn’t have to be a day of scrolling and envy… This is a day for fire in your belly and unexpected phone calls.

This day is part of your adventure with God… if only you choose to follow that niggle, where it leads.