Giving birth to my daughter was tough. I had geared up for a positive birth story… yet the experience I walked through was neither entirely positive, nor entirely painful. It was both.

I didn’t quite know what to do with that. In my head, it felt like everyone around me was saying: “don’t share your story if it isn’t positive. Especially don’t share your non-positive story to pregnant women.” That message made me feel like a failure. It was as though I was supposed to have gained this shiny, 100% positive story that would encourage pregnant women… yet, I was wrestling with two truths:

1. My story was neither positive nor negative.
2. I secretly wished someone had shared a realistic, non-shiny birth story with me pre-pregnancy. I wanted to tell pregnant women that it might not be all sunshine and wonder – and that is O.K. It can be both glorious and a bit gross!

I’ve been thinking about this positive/ negative tension in other areas of my life, recently. For instance, when I am around certain people, I want to come across as perfect. I want to say only things that please them. I want them to be proud of me, I want them to brag about how great a friend or person I am!

But the reality is annoying! Some of the time I am a brilliant person to be around. Some of the time I say things that please others. Some of the time I do things that make others want to sing my praises!

Yet, some of the time I am irritating! I can talk too much, without listening. I often get snappy and frustrated. Occasionally I forget to say please and thank you, or sorry.

Sure, I strive to have a positive impact – but the reality is, my life is a mixed bag of positive and negative.

Another example is my marriage. On the one hand marriage is absolutely wonderful… but my husband and I have walked through some really negative and hard situations. We commit to choose one another, time and time again. That means choosing one another when we are lovely… and when we are everything but lovely!

Jesus said:

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16: 33, NIV

In that one comment He gave us a mixed bag! Jesus never promised that we wouldn’t struggle. He promised that we would struggle, here on earth! Yet, simultaneously, He said that we could “take heart” because He overcame this world, when He died on a cross.

Taking heart looks like keeping your heart soft. It looks like choosing to celebrate positive, found among the negative. Choosing to praise Jesus, through all things.

If you are going through something difficult – even devastating – you can praise God for good and holy things amongst devastation.

With childbirth, for instance, labour was painful and long, for me. AND labour was a time in which I have never felt more connected to my husband. I felt anxious and joyous. Neither one, nor the other!

In our world it seems things are labelled positive OR negative, rather than positive AND negative. But if your story doesn’t fit in one or the other, I am here to tell you that it is still ABSOLUTELY worth sharing. And it is completely normal that you are experiencing both good and bad, here on earth.

I don’t specifically know what situations you are facing, right now… Maybe you are mentally struggling to accept that you don’t have to be perfect. Give yourself permission to accept your mixed bag of flaws, failures, fabulousness and raw talent.

Perhaps, like me, you are experiencing a few highlights right now. Maybe some of your dreams are becoming realities… AND you still battle with negative thoughts. You struggle to accept that you don’t have to have it all together 100% of the time. Let yourself off the hook; you can be a work in progress.

Maybe, your problem is external: things are not working out, as you thought they would. The honeymoon period is over, and your marriage is tough. You dreamed of marriage being your one ‘positive thing’ for years; but it’s not all shiny sparkles and kisses, like you hoped! Hang on in there, get help and find things to praise God for right in the centre of your story.

I am writing to you today just to say that a mixed bag of a life is to be expected. We can praise God for the highs one minute, and then weep with Him for the lows that follow.

It is time to remove the pressure to be only-always-positive and rip off all pressure to live a perfect, happy life 100% of the time.

Get rid of false narratives that culture dishes out, so freely. Maybe “partly-positive birthing” isn’t a catchy business name, or a best-selling book title, but that doesn’t mean that having a partly-positive experience isn’t valid!

Remember that Jesus is our one true positive in the middle of what is an up and down life!

I have good news: if you believe in Jesus you are heaven-bound for eternity! You will live in God’s constant glory, one day. But right now, we live on earth as citizens of heaven. We experience trouble, knowing that one day Jesus will wipe every tear from our eyes.

Here, we wait – with our stories both positive AND negative. And we don’t have to be ashamed; we don’t have to be perfect.

We can be a mixed bag; and we can praise a perfect and righteous God, always.