This is the final day of a blog-series on the theme of rejection. If you want to go back to the beginning of the series, click here.

It’s time to talk about healing.

Being rejected is so painful, but how do we get over it? Do we ever truly heal when a friend rejects us? Can we really move on and begin again?

I have 4 answers.

Rejection heals… when you forgive.

I spoke about forgiveness on day 2 of this blog-series. But I want to reiterate that you have to forgive those that have rejected you. And please forgive yourself for rejecting others. God 100% forgives you! The bible says:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1: 9, NIV.

When it comes to forgiveness, it isn’t about forgetting what a person has done. It is about letting go of revenge and putting that person in the hands of God. It might help you to list out all of the things you need to forgive or all the things that you need forgiveness for. Don’t hesitate to go into every detail and allow God to bring those emotions of pain and hurt to the surface as you make a choice to forgive.

You may want to say these words out loud: “I choose to forgive.”

It is a sentence you may have to say again and again.

I know that I have forgiven people that have rejected me. Yet, I struggle to forgive myself for rejecting others. I struggle to give myself grace, as Jesus gives.

If you can relate to the above; make a choice to daily forgive yourself for the next week. Come to God with all the things you are beating yourself up about. Asks God’s forgiveness for those things that are sin, but then also make an effort to forgive yourself. Tell yourself out loud that you are going to let yourself off the hook today.

Rejection heals… when you believe God at His word.

Right this second, I am struggling to believe that I am good enough. I feel a bit of a failure, compared to other people.

But, at the core of my issue is a fact: I am not taking God at His word. Jesus tells us to remain in Him:

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 

John 15: 7-9, NIV.

Are you remaining in His love? Are you listening Him speak to you? Are you reading the bible – not just glossing over it – but reading it, letting things sink in and jump out to you?

Jesus loves you right now. He calls you good enough to be His friend. He is not far from you, He is not scalding or punishing you. He is not calling you a failure. He is ready to give to you, whatever you need. He wants you to succeed in life.

He doesn’t want you to believe that you are forever scarred by rejection. He does want to heal you, fully.

The bible says about heaven:

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Revelation 21: 4, NIV.

This God we serve is serious about healing. He wants to wipe every single tear from your eye. He wants to love you, completely.

Rejection heals… when you choose to love others.

Rejection hurts. Maybe you want to to protect and defend yourself from rejection, because you really don’t want to face pain.

But rejection heals when you choose to stay open-hearted. Rejection heals when you choose to love again.

Maybe you’ve had an application rejected. Maybe your hopes and dreams feel absolutely shattered right now. You can pick yourself up and try again; perhaps apply for something new. Or, you can choose to believe that you are not good enough, that you will never make it and that trying again isn’t worthwhile.

My point is; when you are hurt, it feels almost wrong to pick yourself up and try again. But it’s worth it. The bible says:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12: 30 – 31, NIV.

When it says your neighbour – it could just be the person standing next to you! Reach out and show love to others. Remember it also tells you to show love to others as you love yourself.

That means – you need to also give yourself a loving pep talk, from time to time!

I’ve lost a lot of friendships, over the years. And I have to make an effort to believe that people like me. That I am a good friend.

Then, I can choose to pick myself up, go out there and be a good friend – even when I don’t feel like it.

Why not try to reach out to someone today; write an encouraging note to someone or send flowers to that new friend you’ve just made. Make a decision to love others, as you love yourself.

Rejection heals… again and again!

I just want to end on a cheery note!

Jesus doesn’t promise us that there will be an end to rejection, this side of heaven. Of course, in heaven, there will be no pain. But Jesus tells us to expect to be hated, while we are on this earth:

If you were to give your allegiance to the world, they would love and welcome you as one of their own. But because you won’t align yourself with the values of this world, they will hate you. I have chosen you and taken you out of the world to be mine. So remember what I taught you, that a servant isn’t superior to his master. And since they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. And if they obey my teachings, they will also obey yours. They will treat you this way because you are mine, and they don’t know the One who sent me.

“If I had not come and revealed myself to the unbelieving world, they would not feel the guilt of their sin, but now their sin is left uncovered. If anyone hates me, they hate my Father also. If I had not performed miracles in their presence like no one else has done, they would not feel the guilt of their sins. But now, they have seen and hated both me and my Father. 

John 15: 19 – 24, NIV.

I am not telling you this to scare or upset you. I am not saying you should let people walk all over you, not at all.

Rather, I want you to remember that Jesus went through exactly the same thing as you are. He stands beside you, no matter how many times you’ve been rejected. He’s not a one-time healer, but a friend that can continually lead you to freedom – as long as you trust Him to do so.

I think of Leah in the bible. She was said to be hard on the eyes, compared to her sister, Rachel. Leah’s father, Laban, told a man named Jacob that he could marry Rachel. Yet, when the wedding night came, Laban tricked Jacob into taking Leah as his bride – instead of Rachel.

As a consequence, Leah wasn’t loved by her husband, Jacob. Instead, it seems she was despised by her sister and unloved by Jacob. But, God loved Leah. God saw Lead and restored her:

When God realized that Leah was unloved, he opened her womb. But Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and had a son. She named him Reuben (Look-It’s-a-Boy!). “This is a sign,” she said, “that God has seen my misery; and a sign that now my husband will love me.”

Genesis 29: 31 – 32, MSG.

In the same way God sees you and you can trust Him to lead you to healing, no matter how many times you are rejected. He will restore.

Conclusion

I want you to be a healthy and healed person. I want you to be able to stay open to God. I want you to be able to love others and move past the pain of rejection.

More than all of that: I want you to know you are not alone. If you are feeling all the feels, reflecting on rejection in your own life, know that I am with you. It’s not easy to keep your heart open to God. It’s not easy to love again, when you want to curl up in a ball and protect yourself from hurt.

But you can do it! You have a powerful and patient God on your side. His love covers you as you do this hard thing.