This is day 5 of a blog-series about rejection. If you are looking for day 1 please click here.

O.K, time to be honest. I am not a theologian. I can’t give you a first-class answer, explaining all the things of God and why they happen. In fact, I’m pretty sure God leaves some things as mystery to be discovered and enjoyed in the future. In heaven.

But I do want to try and answer the question: “why does rejection happen, anyway?”

I’m going to give a few, incomplete thoughts to make you ponder, wonder and reach out to God for more.

Rejection happens… because of sin.

In the beginning, Adam and Eve were in close relationship with God. Yet, Adam and Eve were disobedient – they ate fruit from a tree, which God had forbidden.

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

Genesis 3: 6, NIV.

This act of disobeying God was sin. It separated Adam and Eve from God:

So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubin and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.

Genesis 3: 23– 24, NIV.

You might read this passage and think: “wow, God banished them and made life hard for them… God rejected them.”

But the truth is – Adam and Eve rejected God by choosing to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God gave them a choice, and they chose sin.

I, for one, don’t like admitting that I have done the same thing. I have absolutely disobeyed God. I chose a life separate from him for 20 years! I rejected Him. Maybe you have, too?

The good news is that God never stopped loving Adam and Eve. He has never stopped loving you and I, either.

God sent His son Jesus to redeem us from sin. That means; Jesus paid the penalty for our sin by dying on a cross. He took the blame, took the punishment and restored us to God. If God was cruel, He wouldn’t have done that. Think about it: if He was a mean God, seeking revenge and punishment – He wouldn’t have let His own son take the flack for us. His love for us is phenomenal.

I can be really prideful. I know I can! I can often act like I’m a good person, with no flaws. But really; we’ve all rejected God at one point or other. Coming to terms with that – accepting that we messed up but Jesus took our punishment – is powerful.

When you remember that Jesus covered your mistakes, then you can overcome rejection. In other words… we chose sin when we rejected God. But in Christ that is forgiven. In Christ we are free from the weight of that choice.

Rejection happens… because we are deceived.

It was the devil that deceived Eve into believing that rejecting God was a good decision to make.

The bible tells us:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8, NIV.

In other words: be careful that you are not deceived. What is on your mind at the moment? Is it truth, or is it a lie?

Earlier today, my husband was making sandwiches for us to take to a beach picnic. I didn’t want sandwiches. In fact, I rarely want sandwiches… But I ended up getting myself really wound up! I called myself: “snobby Beth!”  

I said: “I really don’t want sandwiches, but I know if I don’t have them people will think I am snobby Beth that doesn’t eat leftovers and sandwiches.” I honestly thought that people would think I was a horrible, snobby person, just because of my refusal to each a sandwich! It was a lie, planted in my mind to make me feel rejected.

Another time, I was walking by the river Mersey with my friend and I said: “I always thought that a husband should weigh more than his wife…”

My friend burst out laughing! I had believed another ridiculous lie!

Both examples were lies planted in my mind in order to make me stress out and live a life apart from God. Sure, they were comical, but really they were little nudges from the enemy of my soul, who prowls around like a lion, looking for someone to devour.

We have to remember that not everything we tell ourselves is true. People might not be thinking negatively about us. We might not need to set ourselves ridiculous standards. What we do need to do is stay sober-minded. Thankfully God doesn’t call us “snob” or set standards to be as thin as can be. He calls us accepted, loved and fearfully and wonderfully made. (Check Psalm 139.)

Rejection happens… because we are ashamed of who we are.

A couple of weeks ago, I called my sister-in-law, with a confession…

“Years ago, I lied to you about shampoo…” I said.

Fortunately, she burst into laughter and kindly forgave me for lying to her face! But – honestly – how many times do we hide from truth, pretending we are ‘better’ than we actually are?

Back to Genesis. In the beginning, God created man and women:

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 2:25, NIV.

After eating the forbidden fruit, things change:

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Genesis 3:7, NIV.

Adam and Eve hid. They were open and honest and free… but then they felt shame, so they hid.

Shame is such a messy thing. We feel bad, unworthy, wrong, a mistake…

When ashamed, we feel disgusting. So, we hide.

As a consequence, we reject the truth that we are beautiful, created on purpose, children of God…

We also reject ourselves, sometimes telling lies to make us look good.

And, of course, we reject others. We shut them out, lie and hurt them because we are ashamed.

But Jesus covered our shame, when He died on the cross. We don’t need to agree with shame, we don’t need to bow down to the messy feeling of guilt.

The book of Romans says:

For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced—beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8: 38, AMP

You can overcome shame in Christ.

The book of Isaiah says:

Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.

Isaiah 61: 7, ESV.

God wants to take you from shame to freedom. He wants you to enjoy this live, not stay in yucky shame.

Best way to do that: tell the truth. When I came to know Jesus I realised I had to stop lying. Most of the white lies I told were rooted in shame. I had to start admitting to failure. I had to say sorry when I let someone down. I had to tell the truth, even if I didn’t want to.

By doing this I realised that I have nothing to be ashamed about. I can live an honest life, free from the power and control of shame. You can, too.

Conclusion

What lies are you telling yourself? Are you deceived?

Do you dare admit that you have rejected God, yet He paid the price for your sin?

Are you going to take a step out of icky shame, into an honest and free life?

Big questions, I know. But hopefully this post has helped you to ask questions about God and ponder: “why does rejection happen, to me?”

Remember – we may have rejected God but He stands with open arms. He is not afraid of your past rejection.