Day 18 – The Exchange – 21 Days of Spiritual Swaps

Today, I came to God with anger…

I woke up feeling so angry.

I couldn’t understand where it had come from.

I tried praying about it, I tried talking to my husband about it.

And then I realised that I had un-forgiveness in my heart. In other words – I hadn’t forgiven people that had hurt me, in the past couple of weeks.

So I came to God with a short list…

“I choose to forgive this person for that thing. Amen.”

I got on with the day, ran some errands and then… there it was again!

Anger. Harbouring in my soul like a heavy anchor, tearing into my peace.

I felt frustration and disappointment and… fury!

The thing is: I am not usually the angry one in my household.

Sure, I feel annoyed when my husband bites his nails. I get frustrated when he doesn’t fold the towels the way I like…

But, usually, my husband lets me gently “squeeze his head” and then all anger disappears!

(N.B. When I say squeeze his head, no harm is actually done!)

Yet, today, I felt anger that no amount of gentle head-squeezing could cure! It was a heavy feeling on my chest that I just couldn’t seem to get rid of.

I was cooking mac and cheese this evening, and finally… it clicked.

Forgiveness involves choosing to trust that Jesus will deal with the person that hurt you. Forgiveness involves acknowledging that you have been hurt, and then choosing to release any feelings of revenge or anger you have for that person, to Jesus.

It was the release I was having issues with.

I wasn’t choosing to release my anger to Jesus. I wasn’t trusting that Jesus would handle the people who hurt me. I was still harboring my revenge-plan in my heart. I was still furious, not surrendered to God.

So, I came to God again and chose to let go of any feelings of revenge I had.

I had to trust Jesus. I had to trust that Jesus would deal with that person and bless their life. I had to trust Him with all of it.

Then, I realised…

I had to forgive God.

Not that he has done anything wrong. He is perfect.

But, I was mad that God hadn’t done things my way.

I was mad that things had not gone the way I wanted, therefore I had wound up getting hurt. I felt like God had let me down.

I had believed a lie that said God had abandoned me, just because things hadn’t gone the way I thought they would.

Anger had got a hold of my trust. I had allowed myself to become angry that God hadn’t done what I thought He would do, instead of being happy at the fact my God is absolutely for me! He is trustworthy and He always had better plans than I imagine.

I was reminded of this bible verse:

Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.

Ephesians 3: 20, TPT, my emphasis.

I needed to repent. Say sorry to God for not trusting Him and instead, choose to grab hold of the above verse.

Today, I pray that you would give all of your anger to God.

I pray you would release all of your feelings for revenge.

I pray you would give Him your innermost frustration that has been building up for weeks… sometimes months.

I pray freedom from anger, for you. And I pray you would grab hold of trust in God.

Proverbs says:

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him,
And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].

Proverbs 3: 5-6, AMP.

Thank God that He removes the obstacles of anger and revenge from our hearts.

Thank God that we can trust Him now.

Amen!

Action Points:

• Release any feelings of anger or revenge to God, trusting He will deal with people that have hurt you.
• Maybe you’ve been angry at God, because something hasn’t gone your way. Don’t believe the lie that He has abandoned you. He will come through, just not in the way you expect.
• Meditate on Ephesians 3:20 and Proverbs 3: 5-6.