Have you ever felt anxiety or stress physically manifest in your body, and you have absolutely no idea why it’s happening?

This blog post contains 5 small steps to take when you feel anxious. Though I am not a counselor or psychotherapist, I have suffered with anxiety disorder in the past. These 5 steps have personally helped me to get to a place where I don’t feel physically anxious, on a regular basis. Praying they help you, too.

Step 1: Talk it Out Honestly

Last week, I started to feel really anxious.

I kept getting this nervous feeling in my tummy, which just seemed to build and build.

Instead of dealing with my feelings, I decided to ‘keep calm and carry on!’ But the anxiety grew, to a point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Later that night, I sat down at the kitchen table with my husband and told him that I felt anxious.

“Why?” He asked.

I started to tell him that I had a “never-ending” list of tasks, which were pressure on me. I had to clean our house, cook our meals, do our washing, send birthday presents, do our shopping, complete church leadership team tasks, post on this blog, create my daughter’s baby scrapbook, read through my reading list and sort some bank and money problems out.

Here’s the thing: none of the tasks on my list were at all urgent. Yet I felt like each task was demanding my attention and I felt a weight of pressure in my chest, as well as nervous ‘butterflies’ in my tummy.

My husband kept asking “why?”

“Why do you feel like you have to clean our house spotless? Why do you feel like you have to post on your blog? Why do you feel like you have to this second sort our money problems out?”

And, suddenly I realised… I don’t have to do any of those things.

Let me explain: feelings are grounded in the thoughts we have.

I had a thought that said “I have to complete all the tasks on my to-do list in the shortest amount of time possible.” At some point in my brain I decided to believe that that thought was truth. I allowed that thought to grow, I allowed my to-do list to grow unnecessarily. As a result, I was feeling pressure and urgency.

In my experience, anxiety is typically the result of a blocked goal.

Years ago, when I first encountered anxiety and suffered panic attacks, I came to realise that I had a goal in my mind to please everyone around me. Simply put, I had made it my life’s goal to please others.

When I suddenly fell ill with glandular fever and post-viral fatigue, I could no longer attain that goal of pleasing others all the time – it was blocked. That’s when anxiety really started to physically show up in my body, through feelings of pressure in my chest, nervousness in my tummy and infrequent panic attacks.

Initially, it took me a while to understand that my experiences of anxiety were often caused by blocked goals. Nowadays, detecting an unrealistic goal in my life is an easier process.

So, if you are feeling anxious, the first step is simply to talk about it with someone. When I first started with feelings of anxiety, I visited a doctor, then I went to a counselor, then I spoke to a mentor at my church. These days, I can talk to my husband or a friend.

Simply talking about your anxiety can help you begin to unpick the root cause. Have patience; in the early days it would take me a long time to realise what I was thinking. I used to say to my husband that my thoughts were ‘loud,’ there was too much going on in my mind. But as I began talking, I was able to hack away at the negative thoughts in my brain, until I revealed the rotten root.

Step 2: Go to the Secret Space

The best thing to do in the face of anxiety is to simply sit at the feet of Jesus. Let yourself be drawn into the presence of God.

Last week, like many others, I faced a great deal of change in my external circumstances. Due to the outbreak of COVID-19, our UK government told us to stay home and stop gathering with other people. Watching news shows on television taught me that people were dying of COVID-19 and it was spreading quickly.

One day, I put my daughter in her cot for a nap, went downstairs and put on a worship song (The Blessing – Kari Jobe.) I held out my hands as though receiving a gift and asked Holy Spirit to fill me. I simply focused on the lyrics of the song that I was listening to.

I felt compelled to kneel on the floor. I spoke the name “Jesus.”

Pretty soon I felt in my heart that Jesus was asking me what I am afraid of.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t even realise I was afraid of anything until he asked! But in answering this question I was able to be honest with Jesus about my fears relating to COVID-19. I was worried about how the virus would affect my family.

I was able to confess my fears to Jesus and, as I did, I felt a sense of release. It felt like Jesus took those worries away from me completely. I remembered these two verses from the bible:

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7, NIV.)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV.)

Here is my point: Jesus knows exactly what you are thinking and feeling. He can lift off the heavy burdens we put on ourselves. Sometimes, we just need to come to Him, believing He is good and let Him speak to us.

Make it a discipline to simply get in the presence of God, however which way you want to. Even if you are not sure if you believe in Jesus or not, the bible says:

^“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13, NIV)

That means, if you sit down and say: “Jesus, I’m here, fill me with the presence of the Holy Spirit.” He will show up. Of course, you have got to want Him to show up. So get alone, get down on your knees and earnestly say, “God, I’m looking for you. Bring to my mind all the ways you love me in this moment.”

I am always amazed that when I do this the God of heaven and earth meets me where I am at. He shows up in His kindness and gives me the exact love I need in that very moment of anxiety.

Step 3: Switch off the screens

This year, I decided to log off Instagram and Facebook for lent.

It is not the first time I have done this.

In February, I noticed that I wasn’t reading the books I wanted to read, I wasn’t working on crafty projects I had in mind, and I wasn’t being present and enjoying my daughter as she grows each day.

I was, however, scrolling through Facebook and Instagram at every opportunity I could.

I tried to limit myself, but it never worked out well.

I realised that not only was it stealing my time and attention from people and projects that I cared about, but it was encouraging me to compare myself with others on an hourly basis. This, of course, caused anxiety.

I felt like I needed to have a cleaner house when scrolling through the likes of Mrs Hinch and Stacey Solomon’s feed. I felt this pressure to be a better Mum when looking at other friends and family feeds. It wasn’t their fault, it was my mind converting these posts to anxious demands.

So, I decided to log off.

Instead, I asked my husband to buy me a journal for my birthday. I wanted to find a way to be thankful for what I had.

He bought me Rachel Cruze’s “Contentment Journal,” along with her book “Love Your Life Not Theirs”.

The “Contentment Journal” basically prompts you to think about a different area of your life each day, and be thankful. So far, I love it.

Sometimes, you will have to switch off your ‘triggers’. For instance, if there is a pandemic sweeping the globe and you are feeling anxious about it, you will need to make a conscious effort to switch off the news. Turn off your notifications, log off if you need to. You can even ask your friend to change your password.

Do what you need to do to stop feeling that rush of panic.

Again, be honest with yourself.

I had to recognize that I was choosing to think negatively when scrolling through social media. I had to remove the trigger.

I had to find a way to accept myself. My hair, my house, my parenting, my career choices and my financial state.

Step 4: Remind Yourself to Rest

I have to frequently ask myself this question:

“What do I love to do, in order to recharge?”

Some people, like my husband, don’t ever have to ask this question. He doesn’t see a problem with switching off and watching a movie on a regular basis. He has to remind himself not to switch off completely!

I have the opposite problem; I forget to switch off. I have this need to achieve that quite often drives me, if I let it. (You guessed it; that causes anxiety to rear its ugly head.)

So, hey, take a leaf from my husband’s book: relax.

Hubs and I were actually talking about rest the other day. He suggested that in order to combat the anxiety I should tear up my to-do list and be purposeful about doing absolutely nothing on that list.

Of course, we all have responsibilities and my husband wasn’t saying that I should stop feeding our child or washing our clothes. But instead he said: “eat cold food that doesn’t need prepping for a day. Leave the washing to me.”

The point is: find a way to ‘delete’ whatever it is that is stopping you from relaxing. Just for a day, or an evening.

Eat takeaway one night so you don’t have to cook, or a ready meal will suffice.

Run a bath, read a chapter of your book.

If you are a single parent, can you watch a movie when they go to sleep, instead of washing up, or ironing, or ordering an online shop?

Prioritize rest, even if just for a couple of hours. A box of chocolates and a good book have always served me well, when I actually remember to stop and pay attention to these treats!

Remember, these moments of rest have to be just that.

I am guilty of turning the things I love into another item on my to-do list. When this happens I simply ask Holy Spirit: “Can you now bring to my mind the one thing I should do today to feel rested?” Whatever immediately comes to mind, do that. Don’t force yourself to read a book just because it is on your to-do list. There are days when scrap-booking is a chore and days where I am in my element, gluing and sticking pictures to the page.

Step 5: Hold onto Hope

One of my favourite Psalms in the bible says:

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.” (Psalm 23: 4, ESV.)

I want you to begin to believe that you can walk through this valley.

You won’t always feel anxious.

You won’t always suffer with tummy problems or anxiety attacks.

But you have to begin to believe that things will get better.

I want to ask you a question that has been asked in so many ways to me, even since I became a Christian:

What does hope look like for you?

Imagine your unique finish line for this season; you’ve walked through your anxiety, you’ve dealt with your thoughts and found the root cause of your panic. How do you feel? What will you do?

Imagine feeling totally peaceful for a full day. Or an hour. Whatever it is for you, envisioning hope is so important. The psalmist says that with Jesus by your side you will “walk through the valley of the shadow of death”, you will “fear no evil”, Jesus will be “with” you. He will “comfort” you.

There are better days ahead. Believe that.

At the time of writing, the UK are walking through a pandemic that is sweeping the nation. People are losing their lives. That is a truly horrible fact. But God did not cause this suffering, He is the good shepherd walking us through this painful time, comforting us and promising us that better days are still to come.

There is another verse in the bible that says:

^“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28, ESV).

If you would have told me 7 years ago that I would be writing to anxiety-sufferers, encouraging them to take steps with God to walk through their pain, I wouldn’t have believed you. But God uses even our most broken moments for His glory. That is who He is. You can get past this, you can walk through this season of pain and you can even believe that God will one day turn your story around, so that you can help others.

Say it out loud: “I believe that I will walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I believe that I will… (insert your hope here!)”

For me, I am currently believing that I will enjoy this time of being at home with my family, as we face a lockdown to overcome COVID-19. I am believing that the current pandemic, sweeping the globe, will come to an end. I am believing for days spent with my extended family and my gorgeous friends. I am hoping to cuddle my best friend when we get past this, and she knows I am not a cuddly person!

Conclusion

I wrote this post because I am passionate about you connecting with God in the middle of feeling anxious. Everything I write is from my experience. I haven’t been miraculously delivered from pain, I have walked through bouts of anxiety, one step at a time.

My prayer for you is that you would take one of the five steps above and apply it to your day.

You may choose to pick up the phone and tell someone that you are feeling anxious, whether a doctor or a friend.

You may want to stick on some worship music and check in with the real and living God.

Maybe you will find courage to switch the news channel off, or say goodbye to Facebook.

Regardless of whether you pick up a book, choose to declare your hopes out loud or book a counselling session, I hope you know that God is with you. He is for you. He loves you, even when you feel like you can’t stop the panic rising inside of you.