Do you ever wonder what your life looks like from God’s big perspective?

Right now, as I write this, I am so aware of thoughts I’ve been having.

Thoughts like:

‘You’ve made the wrong choice.’

‘You are stopping God’s plans.’

‘You need to work harder to accomplish all the things you want to do in life, Beth.’

‘You are never going to write a book at this rate.’

‘There is no time for rest.’

‘There is not enough time, full stop.’

‘Today you are being entirely disobedient, Beth. In fact, you are stalling on your calling because of fear. Try harder.’

‘You are procrastinating and you are fearful.’

The funny part is, I am probably one of the most productive people I know (!) And I think sometimes one of the enemies’ plans is to remind us of what we are not yet, rather than what we are now.

Worse – the enemy tries to make us see what we are not yet and then he lies to us, telling us that if we want to get to where we are not yet we are going to have to try harder. Be better. Strive more. Earn your way to becoming that which you are not yet.

But I believe that God is trying to remind us of who we are right now.

What we have right now.

How loved we are right now.

In the exact circumstances that we’ve been trying to escape from.

You were made for such a time as this. Not tomorrow. Not when your circumstances change. Not when you have the published book, the critically acclaimed movie, the profitable business, the dream husband, the forever home, the perfect friends, the admirable career or the big money.

He Loves Us Just As We Are

I had a remarkable moment the other day when I caught a glimpse of how great Jesus love is for me. I felt fed up. I didn’t want to sing or praise Jesus. I was angry, I felt let down and I didn’t want him to console me. Let’s just say I wanted life to go my way…

But I put on some worship music and before I knew it I was on my knees. I wasn’t singing to the lyrics. I was stunned because God was near to me and He was reminding me that no matter how I felt, no matter what I had done, I could always come to Him, just as I am.

Sometimes I see Jesus and I remember who He is, in all of His goodness. Nothing is surprising to Him, yet sometimes I think I’ve fluffed up. Sometimes I think God would be shocked if He knew what I was thinking. He wouldn’t approve of that decision I made the other day. I made the wrong decision, I stopped His blessing. I chose the wrong path…

The truth is, Jesus takes me as I am messy with all of my thoughts and my ways. Everything I’ve done, right and wrong.

As I was worshipping on my knees I began to see how pleased Jesus was when I stopped focusing on my mistakes and what I am not, and just chose to believe that God loves me right now. He wants to meet with me in this very moment. Because He is mad about me. He is devoted to me. Committed. Faithful.

He chose to love me – He chose to die on a cross and to literally bear the weight of my sin on His shoulders. He is not surprised by my limitations. He is not surprised by my mistakes. He actually took them on His own shoulders, He paid the price for them. Jesus won. He was victorious in the battle against the darkness. He’s not so interested in talking about my sin, He’s already dealt with it. He’s taken it from me. He’s doesn’t want to talk about what I’m not yet, He wants to talk about who I am now. In the light. With all the stuff. Bringing it all to Him.

He Calls Us By Name

The other day I was talking to Jesus and I realised something.

In the book of John, it reads ‘when Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, He said of him, ‘Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.’ (John 1:47 NIV.)

I suddenly had an image in my mind of Nathanael standing underneath a fig tree.

Jesus spots Nathanael from afar and calls out the good in him. I can imagine Jesus smiling at Nathanael as he says this, excited. Like ‘Nathanael, I am so pleased I get to walk alongside you because of who you are.’ I don’t know if Nathanael felt like a man of integrity. In fact, the moment before Jesus affirms him, Nathanael says: ‘Nazareth! Can anything good come out of there?’ John 1:46. Nathanael is questioning the idea that the son of God would come from such a place as Nazareth. If you ask me, He’s a bit grumpy. It’s a bit of a ‘yeah, right’ comment. ‘Whatever!’

Jesus doesn’t get angry at Nathanael’s doubts. He is not surprised by Nathanael’s comment. Jesus smiles at Nathanael’s and reminds him ‘Nath, mate – you are mine and I love being with you. I love who you are – this man of integrity.’

Jesus smiles at me like He smiled at Nathaneal and calls out the good in me. He smiles at the good in me. He’s doesn’t ask me if I’m a woman of integrity, He doesn’t say ‘have you been good today, do you deserve this title today?’ He takes me, by the hands, with all my mess, He looks at me – right into the corneas of my eyes – and He smiles because He sees the good in me. He sees that I am my Father’s daughter and He is well pleased. He calls me ‘a woman of integrity, without any falsehood.’ He doesn’t even get in a conversation with my ‘not yets’ and He doesn’t list my sins – His blood has dealt with those. Jesus focuses on the now – not on the what ifs.

Now:

I am a pretty good writer right now.

I write every day. Whether in my journal or creatively, at work.

It is not something that comes out of striving. For me, writing pours out of my heart as a result of sitting, being with Jesus. It comes out of rest.

God leads me to rest. I am allowed to rest.

I am a better writer today than I was last year.

I am a better writer today than I was six months ago.

I am a better writer for locking eyes with Jesus.

There is nothing that can stop the plans God has for my writing. It is a gift and just by showing up at a keyboard or opening my journal – I honour that gift.

I haven’t missed my chance to become a writer. I am a writer.

I am not ‘behind schedule’ – I am going at my own pace.

There is enough time for me to enjoy what God has for me. There are enough hours in the day.

I am a woman of integrity, without any falsehood. A woman of integrity, without any fear of the future.

I am loved.

Overwrite Your ‘Not Yets’ With Your ‘Now’

Reader, I encourage you to override the ‘not yets’ with the ‘nows’. Write a list of who God says you are right now. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with God where you are. You were made for this moment to worship and connect with the God who loves you as you are, this very second. No one else can give Him the worship that you can in this moment. You were made for such a time as this.

God is not surprised by you, friend.

God is near to you.